I loved a guy for 4 years and it was one sided and later after my 10 boards I had holidays of 3 months and during that period I moved on from him but I would sometimes get his memories but later in September 2025 I moved on completely and as soon as I did that he said he likes me and we started dating even when I didn't know if I liked him . Then i slowly started to like him but the thing is he was kinda toxic but he'd ignore me, be mean to me , talk bout other girls to me and shi like dat and he also kinda cheated one time like he said he was jk around ( bro was pretending to be a femboy and he called dis one girl online daddy and they were saying all dis pervy shi) , he didn't even tell her he had a gf and shi , he deleted her chat when I asked him who he is talking to her said nobody he refused to tell me atleast her I'd or the screenshots of wat they spoke , I had to find it out myself and that girl said when i followed her , she asked him who I was and he said just a girl whom he studied together till 10th grade 💔🥀 ,I was shattered idk then he kept apologising and I forgave him and then he started being toxic and shi all over again , he said he likes a girl and then said he doesn't and we were still dating , later he said he wants to be fwb and i kept refusing and i asked him y he doesn't want me as his gf , ig I'm not worth it innit .... Then a few days back he checked my bag and he saw dis paper which he thought was a letter i wrote for him and he tried to snatch it from my hands and i kept refusing and he held my hands so tightly and my hands r so bruised up and he just didn't gaf when I sent him the phto of it :( he said he loves me tho... I really love him sm , it's like i need him but ik i won't be happy without him , when I'm with him then also I'm constantly insecure, he forced me into getting physical one time and i forgave him for that also and he called me stuff , bodyshamed me so many times I don't even feel pretty anymore , i really just want him to love me like i love him , how do I forget him and move on ? Please lemme know!

Question

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

I want you to understand that you are not difficult to love, and you were never the problem. You spent four years loving someone, waiting for something that you probably thought would finally make you happy. And when he eventually chose you, you gave him a chance, slowly developed feelings for him and tried your best to make the relationship work. But somewhere along the way, you started losing yourself trying to keep someone who wasn't treating you right. You kept forgiving him, making excuses for him and hoping that maybe this time he would change. But love isn't supposed to make you constantly question your worth, compare yourself to other girls, feel insecure about your appearance or be scared of saying no. Grabbing your hands until they were bruised, pressuring you into physical intimacy and body-shaming you are not signs of love. Please don't minimise what happened. You can love someone deeply and still recognise that they are not good for you. I know you want him to love you the way you love him, but you cannot force someone to give you the respect, loyalty and care you deserve. And sweetheart, please don't think that you're not worth being his girlfriend just because he wanted something different. His inability to treat you properly says nothing about your worth. I genuinely think you need to step away from this relationship, even if it hurts. Stop checking on him, stop looking for explanations and stop giving him endless chances to prove that he can change. Tell someone you trust about the physical aggression and pressure, and avoid meeting him alone. You don't have to hate him to leave himYou don't have to stop loving him overnightYou just have to start choosing yourself even on the days when you miss him terribly Cry if you need to, write everything down, dance, spend time with your friends, focus on your studies and slowly rebuild the parts of yourself that this relationship made you forget. And please remember, healing isn't about making him regret losing you it's about reaching a point where his presence or absence no longer determines your happiness You spent four years loving him. Don't spend the next four years forgetting to love yourself❤️