I know there is no solution to this but I just want to vent. I feel strongly about my friendships and family. While my family loves me a lot and I know they will miss me or they miss me as I do not live with them. I have handful of close friends to be precise 3. I treat my friends the way I like to be treated. But I am backup for them not in them not with Malice they know I am dependable and I will be available. I use to see a friend of mine every week or other week for about 4 years now that he has a girlfriends I barely see him and when I see him I see them as a couple. I feel like a third wheel. I am very happy for him but as soon he got someone in his life he just reduced me to a text here and there. He still plans but he uses "we" instead of "me" or "I". People always made me feel like I am expandable and I had withdrawn in the past and I am doing the same. TBH its not his fault the way I feel but its just my confirmation that I am that "Temporary" friend. 4 years of freidnship is overwritten by 4 months of his new relationship

Question

I know there is no solution to this but I just want to vent. I feel strongly about my friendships and family. While my family loves me a lot and I know they will miss me or they miss me as I do not live with them. I have  handful of close friends to be precise 3. I treat my friends the way I like to be treated. But I am backup for them not in them not with Malice they know I am dependable and I will be available. I use to see  a friend of mine every week or other week for about 4 years now that he has a girlfriends I barely see him and when I see him I see them as a couple. I feel like a third wheel. I am very happy for him but as soon he got someone in his life he just reduced me to a text here and there. He still plans but he uses "we" instead of "me" or "I". People always made me feel like I am expandable and I had withdrawn in the past and I am doing the same. TBH its not his fault the way I feel but its just my confirmation that I am that "Temporary" friend. 4 years of freidnship is overwritten by 4 months of his new relationship

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Hey, I just wanted to clarify a few things. You don't deserve to be treated like this firstly, everyone deserves friends who respect and value them and if you don't feel that way then the friendship is not worth it. My advice to you would be to speak to this friend of yours about how you feel and how his actions have affected the friendship. He may not realize that he is making you feel this way as I've had a similar experience and spoke to my friend about it and it made our friendship much stronger. If he still chooses to ignore you and move on, well then atleast you tried and didn't hold hidden resentment towards him and his girlfriend. You don't deserve friendships where you aren't prioritized, so please don't convince yourself that you are expendable or want too much. Rather just communicate your thoughts with your friends and if after that they still don't change then you know to move on and find other friends. You don't need a life of chasing other people, the right people in your circle will know, love and care for you without you needing to chase them or put yourself in a lower position in their life. I have had my fair share of good and bad friends and I can guarantee you my circle at the moment is perfectly curated with people who actually love to be in my company, prioritize me and teach me to be healthier in friendships as well. Your people do exist, please don't think you deserve less. For now do communicate with him what you're feeling and genuinely if he is the good friend you say he was, he will listen and the friendship will get better. But if he is not, there are a billion other people who you can be better friends with. Take care, you deserve all the love :)