I just got out of a 2.5 yes of relationship with my first boyfriend. He is a very nice guy is good with me in all aspect. We had met during 1st year of mba and during the 2nd yr I started having Sone issues with how he handled a situation which I brought up. Basically I was in a flat with another mutual friend of ours. And sometimes it felt like she was more valuable to him than me. He is a very helpful guy towards everyone so for a longtime I would push this thought bcz of his nature.

But it was starting to bother me a lot. Even I am a very chill person having no issues with him having close female friends. But in this case I felt like there is a thin line that has to be maintained between your girlfriend and others. So after beating myself up, having my mind messed up cuz of this, i told him what was bothering me and he did say alright I'll handle this in my own way. And I told him I don't want that you stop talking to her or anything but there has to be some difference between her and I.

And we didn't talk about it again and he did try to handle it for some time. But after a month or so it came back to not square one but maybe little less than that and things bothered me again. We would again talk and it would be okay for few weeks and back again. And everything there was improvement but it honestly exhausted me trying to balance it out while also trying to process my feelings towards all this cuz I didn't exactly hate that girl or anything. I still am infact good friends with her but only his behaviour bothered me a lot and more than that his approach to sort this was to bascially try his best and push these conversations under the carpet which I never expected from him.

So after college we moved out to different cities and still had this conversation where I broke completely. And he said that time will heal this. But the point was I was the one who had to heal from this whereas we should have been doing this together.

And for few months I did try the time theory but did not work. So atlast here we are. Ofcourse this is written from a very quick birds eye pov. There were a lot of deep moments here.

Now I really miss him and ik thats the part about breaking up but I truly want us to work through and I'm pretty sure even he does. But idk if I have the capacity to teach him how this would work. If we decide to work on this I want him to come up with ideas on how we can work on it this time. And again and just in-between on what to do. This has been something I think about a lot even before we had broken up, before I gathered up the courage to walk away from this. But again it is very brutal and i know that he is such a lovely man though

Question

I just got out of a 2.5 yes of relationship with my first boyfriend. He is a very nice guy is good with me in all aspect. We had met during 1st year of mba and during the 2nd yr I started having Sone issues with how he handled a situation which I brought up. Basically I was in a flat with another mutual friend of ours. And sometimes it felt like she was more valuable to him than me. He is a very helpful guy towards everyone so for a longtime I would push this thought bcz of his nature.

But it was starting to bother me a lot. Even I am a very chill person having no issues with him having close female friends. But in this case I felt like there is a thin line that has to be maintained between your girlfriend and others. So after beating myself up, having my mind messed up cuz of this, i told him what was bothering me and he did say alright I'll handle this in my own way. And I told him I don't want that you stop talking to her or anything but there has to be some difference between her and I.

And we didn't talk about it again and he did try to handle it for some time. But after a month or so it came back to not square one but maybe little less than that and things bothered me again. We would again talk and it would be okay for few weeks and back again. And everything there was improvement but it honestly exhausted me trying to balance it out while also trying to process my feelings towards all this cuz I didn't exactly hate that girl or anything. I still am infact good friends with her but only his behaviour bothered me a lot and more than that his approach to sort this was to bascially try his best and push these conversations under the carpet which I never expected from him.

So after college we moved out to different cities and still had this conversation where I broke completely. And he said that time will heal this. But the point was I was the one who had to heal from this whereas we should have been doing this together.

And for few months I did try the time theory but did not work. So atlast here we are. Ofcourse this is written from a very quick birds eye pov. There were a lot of deep moments here.

Now I really miss him and ik thats the part about breaking up but I truly want us to work through and I'm pretty sure even he does. But idk if I have the capacity to teach him how this would work. If we decide to work on this I want him to come up with ideas on how we can work on it this time. And again and just in-between on what to do. This has been something I think about a lot even before we had broken up, before I gathered up the courage to walk away from this. But again it is very brutal and i know that he is such a lovely man though

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

nah gng hear me out i was in a similar situation of yours where mah ex had his female bsf and he always use to yap about her yk it was annoying lowk if yu think he is too much close w her than he should be its for the good LIKE IT IS FOR THE GOOD TRUST ME IT GETS BETTER it might hurt breaking up w him rn or whatever else but LISTEN IMAGINE MARRYING A GUY WHO IS EXACTLY LIKE THIS would yu tolerate ts your whole life just because he was a good guy? tbh two person can be extremely good but not be meant to be together if he did that even after yu saying he will do it again and again ik its hard walking away but its worth it in many ways some people are just meant to be  a lesson in our lives, we learn and we move on and focus on yourself