I have this old friend whom I separated with, even with like long paragraphs. The thing that pushed me to do this was her breaking my boundaries every single time and apologizing just to do that exact same thing again. For a year I felt so uncomfortable even though I was close with her. I just told her I want some space maybe?. Then someone came to me and asked why weren't we so close anymore, later we find how controlling, manipulative she is with saying she's just sensitive or bipolar(I highly know that you can't get a diagnosis this early of age). She treated a lot of people bad, wasn't just me. The two of us told one more friend who was kind of oblivous to this and decided to add her in a friendgroup that all of us were in.

Yeah so I finally told someone about this issue after holding it all for so long, felt so connected with other people who felt the same. I got to learn boundaries, empathy and everything.

a few months later, I'm in a different school, I find that my old friend is close with the oblivous one. Let's call the friend, O, ok guys. O genuinely interacts and seems so close?? I told her everything, she seen everything too.. I get the others who doesn't know but oh my goodness... it feels so hurtful especially I trusted this one so bad.

I unblocked the old friend on tiktok just recently, I did that since the part she broke my boundary by sending unconsented pics of me everywhere. I felt upset, I shouldn't have acted upon emotions yet here we are. I found she blocked me back when she found my account a few days later.

before that I know my old friend blocked my main socials, I'm not dumb, I can see my friends posts and the reaction with some invisible account.

I want to reach out, maybe she changed? maybe I can trust her again after like the 50th time, I mean highschool does things to you right.

I figured to ask this website, maybe a person with a similar experience is out here.. I don't really know what to do, even if I was told to just move on, I can't . I already did but it's spiraling back... like the posts on my other friends, or the friend O whom I looked up to just seems to be really close now. I just want an answer to why everyone seems fine when I'm like really far now, was it all like pretend, was my reaction never valid? what was the hours or trying to note it out and make sense of weirdparts of our relationship?

it's all too confusing and I can't get an answer to settle my thoughts out

Question

I have this old friend whom I separated with, even with like long paragraphs. The thing that pushed me to do this was her breaking my boundaries every single time and apologizing just to do that exact same thing again. For a year I felt so uncomfortable even though I was close with her. I just told her I want some space maybe?. Then someone came to me and asked why weren't we so close anymore,  later we find how controlling, manipulative she is with saying she's just sensitive or bipolar(I highly know that you can't get a diagnosis this early of age). She treated a lot of people bad, wasn't just me. The two of us told one more friend who was kind of oblivous to this and decided to add her in a friendgroup that all of us were in.

Yeah so I finally told someone about this issue after holding it all for so long, felt so connected with other people who felt the same. I got to learn boundaries, empathy and everything.

a few months later, I'm in a different school, I find that my old friend is close with the oblivous one. Let's call the friend, O, ok guys. O genuinely interacts and seems so close?? I told her everything, she seen everything too.. I get the others who doesn't know but oh my goodness... it feels so hurtful especially I trusted this one so bad.

I unblocked the old friend on tiktok just recently, I did that since the part she broke my boundary by sending unconsented pics of me everywhere. I felt upset, I shouldn't have acted upon emotions yet here we are. I found she blocked me back when she found my account a few days later.

before that I know my old friend blocked my main socials, I'm not dumb, I can see my friends posts and the reaction with some invisible account.

I want to reach out, maybe she changed? maybe I can trust her again after like the 50th time, I mean highschool does things to you right.

I figured to ask this website, maybe a person with a similar experience is out here.. I don't really know what to do, even if I was told to just move on, I can't . I already did but it's spiraling back... like the posts on my other friends, or the friend O whom I looked up to just seems to be really close now. I just want an answer to why everyone seems fine when I'm like really far now, was it all like pretend, was my reaction never valid? what was the hours or trying to note it out and make sense of weirdparts of our relationship?

it's all too confusing and I can't get an answer to settle my thoughts out

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

dont touch the hot coals if theyve already burned you 50 times