“I have no purpose and meaning in my life. I want to become transcendental—ie, find my spiritual self. There are so many books and resources and paid retreats but I do not trust them. What do I do?”

Another soul answered...

Consider a different approach? If reading and contemplating isn't the path for you, perhaps consider doing, evaluating, learning and adjusting? Meaning is subjective; it is the story of how you and your actions relate to your ideals. Paths to meaning can through any of those, explore yourself, your actions, your ideals, your story, and/or how they interrelate. Purpose is the story we give to our path, and as most stories is written as we perform it. Purpose will become clear as you find peace with your meaning. You can of course also try on different purposes, formulate it, act according to it, and reflect upon if it leads to meaning and/or happiness. Final note: books are retellings of others' stories, they can never be true for you and your life, at most they can give inspiration, reflection, pause, recognition, commiseration, etc. that can feed or nuance your own story.