“i have hurt myself before and my mom saw the aftermath, and now she calls me disgusting. she won't talk to me or help me with anything, like anything even cooking or whateves, she says she hated me since she saw what i did and that disgust her, she's been hot and cold with me for months, however suits her. funnily she still adores my cousin who did the same but she compares us cuz he did way less than me and is smart, kind and helpful unlike a disgusting selfish bitch like me. i try to be fine and deal with the absence but i just keep getting worse”

Another soul answered...

i wish i could explain how much it hurts when the one person you want comfort from the most is the person you end up crying over. i've had moments with my mom where i just wanted to be understood, where i wished she could see things from my side instead of making me feel like my feelings don't matter. sometimes it's not even about who's right or wrong, you just want your mom to be gentle with you, to listen without making you feel guilty for being hurt. and i think that's what makes it so painful, because no matter how much you grow up, there's still a part of you that wants your mom when life gets hard. reading your words made me wish i could just sit beside you and let you talk without having to defend yourself or explain why you're hurting. you must be so tired of carrying all this while also dealing with feeling unwanted in your own home. i really hope you find someone who makes you feel heard and cared for, because you shouldn't have to go through these feelings all by yourself. please be gentle with yourself, even on the days when the people around you aren't. 🤍