I have been suffering from emotional distress since a few years now. I had the perfect grades in school except now and last year. And 2025 especially was the most difficult years of my life despite going through a parent loss in covid. I broke a friend ship to concentrate on studies which im not proud of..and felt isolated the whole year that was in 9th but my academics were alright. In 10th I was doing decent until midway someone started making rumors about me and I have a conflict with groups of students fighting me while I was alone standing by myself. They used to be my friends but I spoke against the group leader once so she took it seriously and ruined months and I couldn't concentrate since then got addicted to corn I barely passed. Classmates thought low of me and my self confidence dropped. My mom was demanding and expected great results but in pre final my score was low and then she used to physically abuse me a lot and once held a knife against her hand. I never spoke about the conflict in school to her. She used to degrade me and compared me with other and in boards the marks didn't change much I got a 66% and felt suicidal. All my interest for studies got lost and I have been struggling to get back on track since then. Im in 11th now 6 months have passed of this semester classmates are better in here but I dont know how to keep up my grades ive failed most of them and my mom had been disappointed since then though she hasn't gone physically violent on me. I come from an average income household and I want to get away from my home as soon as I start earning not that id cut them off but that was my initial plan. Im not sure I can do it anymore. But I'll lose my freedom of I give up and 11 and 12th are important years right? If anyone has a recommendation or is going through the same situation pls let me know how you're handling it

Question

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

its so sad to hear that you lost your parent in covid may they rest in peace in heaven, tbh as a person who went into depression for mainly academic stuffs i can relate that what costs when you loose your academic spark. I totally get how hard things might be for you and you are in your suicidal mode, and i am also aware of the fact that disappointing your parent affects one in a a lot of ways . For you things might be very hard and difficult to handle but rather than running away you should think about fixing the things that went wrong, don't think of the future when your present isn't fixed. Your  future depends on how you act in your present, if you fix your present then the probability of your future to go right will be higher. I know you have lost interest in almost everything and you can't seem positive when too much wrong is going on i totally understand in fact i can relate to it but small steps make bigger difference its never too late if you try to do self study on things that you are going wrong for at least 40 mins its mean a lot. And remember academics isn't everything i know its very important part of your but it isn't everything your mental health matters more , YOU matter got it? i know you aren't able to concentrate but fight with yourself, fight for yourself because its only you who can change things its in your hands and if you take one wrong decision it costs you a lot. Don't make studies your everything make sure you enjoy things you love or once loved? reconnect with your hobbies something that truly makes your happy. And suicide should not be option when things go wrong it might be hard or just too hard than i can think but its never an option . You have to give justice your younger self, do it for yourself not for your mom or anyone else. I MEAN if you honestly just feel to depressed or sad just play some joyful song and dance it helps at least for me. AND DO NOT WATCH SAD TIKTOKS OR REELS OR SHORTS IF YOU ARE ALREADY SAD THAT WORSEN UP THINGS I HAVE SEEN MANY PEOPLE DOING THAT SO DON'T YOU DARE TO OR ELSE I'LL GIVE YOU A TIGHT SLAP LEFT AND RIGHT. Just because there is heavy storm that doesn't mean sun will not rise again. Life is all about ups and downs so why don't we join with the ups and down CUZ LIFE GOES ON AND ON AND ON. omgg but on serious note take careeee YOU ARE LOVEDD AND YOU ARE CAREDDDD dont let this tough moments interrupts your sunshine, lollipos and rainbows moments. Did i write too much? ig i did oopsiee sorryy baibai