I have been in love with a guy since 10 years. . . secretly. We were in a friend sort of relationship and then I broke it off immaturely. We were kids back then . . Then many things happened. We haven't been in proper contact since 5-6 years but the unhealed part of me really loves him so much that it thinks we are endgame. . . I know it's limerance. . .I've been in therapy since April 2026. . Have explored this but so many things unravelled. A lack of self love being the most prominent one of those. But the problem is I'm gonna be 24 now. And haven't kissed a soul while he's been dating a girl for a while now. I crave him fr. Whatever version of him, he is now. A part of me doesn't care. I just want to be with him, kiss him, hug him and I want him to love me. . I can't seem to let it go. It feels fated . . .otherlifetimish

Question

I have been in love with a guy since 10 years. . . secretly. We were in a friend sort of relationship and then I broke it off immaturely. We were kids back then . . Then many things happened. We haven't been in proper contact since 5-6 years but the unhealed part of me really loves him so much that it thinks we are endgame. . . I know it's limerance. . .I've been in therapy since April 2026. .  Have explored this but so many things unravelled. A lack of self love being the most prominent one of those. But the problem is I'm gonna be 24 now. And haven't kissed a soul while he's been dating a girl for a while now. I crave him fr. Whatever version of him, he is now. A part of me doesn't care. I just want to be with him, kiss him, hug him and I want him to love me. . I can't seem to let it go. It feels fated . . .otherlifetimish

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

First, I want you to understand something: You're not foolish, and you're not too late. But I want you to consider one difficult possibility. Maybe you aren't holding on to him as much as you're holding on to the version of yourself, the memories, and the future you imagined with him. You said something important: Whatever version of him, I just want to be with him. Think about that for a moment. You haven't properly been in contact for 5–6 years. People change. He has his own life now, and he's dating someone else. Do you really know the person he is today, or are you emotionally attached to the person you remember and the possibility of what could have been. Sometimes, unfinished stories become more powerful in our minds precisely because they never got a proper ending. And please don't measure your worth by the fact that you're almost 24 and haven't kissed anyone. There is absolutely no deadline for experiencing love, intimacy or relationships. Someone else's relationship experience doesn't mean you're falling behind. You deserve to be loved in the present, not just to keep waiting for someone from your past to choose you. I also want you to remember that healing doesn't mean forcing yourself to stop loving someone overnight. It means gradually learning that you can have those feelings without allowing them to control your decisions.
Since you're already in therapy, continue exploring this with your therapist. Work on building a life that feels meaningful even without him in it. And one last thought: What if he wasn't your endgame, but simply someone who taught you how deeply you are capable of loving? You don't have to hate him, forget every memory or deny what you felt. You just have to stop putting your life on hold for a possibility that he hasn't promised you. You are allowed to have a beautiful love story of your own. And it doesn't have to be with him.
Be gentle with yourself. ❤️