I have a cousin 3 years older then me and she’s so much better then me in every way possible. She went to a top college abroad and everyone loves her and even though I’m younger I’m constantly compared with her because I’m a “failure” who has a terrible temper. Apparently everyone praise her mom for raising her so well and everyone says that my mom raised me wrongly. My mom shows all this anger on me.Idk what to do and I feel so bad. How should I overcome this?

Question

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

First of all, please stop measuring your worth against your cousin. Just because she has achieved certain things doesn't mean you're any less capable or valuable. Everyone has a different journey, timeline, personality, and struggles that others might not see. You are not a failure just because your journey looks different from hers.

And please remember, your cousin's achievements don't have to come at the cost of your self-worth. You can admire her without feeling inferior to her. Also, having a temper or making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person. What matters is being willing to understand yourself, work on your reactions, and grow.

I know it must hurt when even your own family compares you and makes you feel like you're a disappointment. But their comparisons don't define who you are. Your mom's parenting isn't a competition with your aunt's, and you shouldn't have to carry the burden of proving that you were raised well.

Give yourself time. Work on becoming a better version of yourself, not a version of your cousin. You deserve to be loved, appreciated, and accepted for who you are, too. ❤️

LOVE YOURSELF <3
YOLO :)