“I hate life rn.. it's so overwhelming.. I left my passion and chose a course that would pay me later and paid loads and I am just in the first sem and I hate it to the core I want to give up.. I hate waking up there is nothing that makes me happy anymore.. I thought it was fake it till you make it but till when? I thought if I just get through I'll get money I'll be able to make my family happy get them everything and I would feel happy then but rn the constant comparision the pressure the feeling of being left behind the feeling of being average and still hating the life. I am not even over 21 and I feel like I already don't want to grow up anymore and that I have lost half my life . I have forgotten my life and what my passion is what I truly want to do.. idk truly. Idk if I will even be able to make money even be able to stand high and love my life .. I wanted to be used to someone be able to provide for the society go to ngos and work with children make their lives better and for them to love me and for me to feel like life is worth it . But I knew it wouldn't pay me as well and that I wouldn't be able to see me left behind while everyone is flying and getting ahead.. but rn. I hate life. I hate everything I want to not wake up to the reality I built myself. I want to quit this degree any chance I get but idk what I want later also. I just want to breathe. I want some space to truly feel peaceful be on the moutains away from people not be thinking of all this constant fear.. I am unable to sleep a night at all also it's probably been over many months since I slept peacefully.. I keep getting bodyache my nerves are pulling or my whole body just gives up everyday.. I don't eat food at all or eat tooo much chocolates and sweets and when I sleep I sometimes wish I don't want to wake up at all..I am always so stressed I can't breathe always having an anxiety attack and hating everything. Nothing feels worth it anymore.. I used to love dancing love singing love being around animals and kids. And I stopped all of it and I think I don't deserve to smile or be happy until I achieve something in life... And it's just so terrible to live like this anf its not even that I am older coz I am just 21 but I fucking hate the life I am building already. I want to quit my degree I am scared of judgement and scared of falling back and hating life too.. I just want to love life again be able to make everyone happy around me and my family happy please idk where to go”
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Someone answered with kindness...
My dear, calm down. I can exactly understand what you're going through. Im nearly your age and I've also chosen a course paying loads with a hope of earning more. If you're a person who believes in destiny, I wish to tell you this. A very good friend of mine came from a very poor family barely having food to feed. He got into a course which he didn't really like but still pushed himself to study. He worked very hard and got placed into a big MNC at his final year. Soon, He started earning and years of struggle came to an end. You have dreams to chase dear. You are absolutely capable. If something is meant for you, it will cross oceans only to end up in your hand. For now, I would suggest to make the best out of your course and make your family proud. Good luck!