I had a friend similar to me but she got into a problem with my girlfriend she was more than a friend more like a twin talks to my whole family yet she ragebitied my girlfriend and got into trouble but I don't know her side of story and decided to send a text but I want to add something to make her to say out what it was and show her guilt if not gonna talk back
This is the message
It's been 8 months since that afternoon it's not okay or cool to leave things without knowing what was heard or unheard and u drifted further apart I don't want to disturb your peace as I didn't have mine doesn't mean to disturb yours I really can't take everything as granted to act on my wish and I acknowledge your decision but without even including me in any of the conversation involving me you guys decided things about me in a place where I wasn't present I don't know what I should feel was all the time around a joke to everyone? I can't face anyone like the old days before this I came up from a similar situation which took years to get over I can't accept and move on without answers haunting my sleep and rest of my life where did I go wrong what was the mistake that I ever did even though I told each and everything without any lies only to you I can't think what all of it meant even though I turned back over the old conversations with hours of chatters spent I was abandoned at the time needed as I asked about what happened I didn't get a reply from you or her about what conversation went through between both and one thing I've always wondered is why you never told me about the things that were hurting you especially regarding her when they were actually happening was there a reason you couldn't talk to me about them? did you feel I wouldn't understand or was there something about me that made you hesitate to open up? I wish I had known what was going on in your mind back then because maybe if I had understood what was hurting you things might have turned out differently I never wanted you to feel that you had to carry anything alone especially when I always believed we could talk about anything without having to hide how we felt and another thing I've always wanted to explain is the situation involving you and her when you asked me to prioritise you in front of her I was honestly put in a very awkward position u were someone so dear to me and I never wanted to make you feel less important but when two people who mattered to me were caught up in such a heated situation how was I supposed to choose one over the other? I couldn't support one by hurting the other and I felt completely helpless in that moment and what could have u done better if you were put into that kind of situation I would be glad if I can get a clear view but I can't get it on my own way yet I was not at that place as rather I could have made into a troubled situation as there could be a problem come through our department was also a reason to move out and the maths class next was also the worst part in that I never thought it would have gone this bad or else if it was anything I would have stood there but the after decessions you had took was not the appreciateable part I couldn't decide anything unless I knew everything fully I had lots of disagreements going through my mind and when I was stuck in my own situation at home I felt I needed your support and instead I felt you turned away and cut things off that was neither hurt nor anger what hurt me even more was that when I was struggling with my own situation at home I felt like I had nobody to lean on I genuinely expected you to understand what I was going through just as I had always tried to understand you instead everything seemed to fall apart and I felt like I was losing someone who had been such an important part of my life this friendship meant so much to me that I couldn't get what I felt and it took me longer to figure out what had happened to turn into a major arc of my life all I heard was u hated me to the core yet I can't feel the same as I couldn't see you that way I knew I was wrong at some place at some point yet I can't figure it out without an honest conversation after everything had calmed down I still remember this January when I was low you reached out right away and told me everything would be okay and to call and tell you everything that's the friendship I hoped for yet things had already turned against me if you had told me earlier I think I could have handled things better rather than this uncertainty it was never about being right or wrong it was me who couldn't realise anything going on around me either you or anyone else this was inevitable all along I considered you more than a member of my family like the opposite gender of me and my twin yet u took me as the baddest person and refused to understand my situation I was there at the places and situations where I could have answered the questions about me myself yet nothing was disclosed to me and it keeps dragging my mind I gave out all my secrets knowing that you wouldn't go apart from me yet I don't know what made you go through that maybe the mistake was from my side too as I didn't realise what was happening but I had never let down your name in front of anyone I'm not texting you to argue or to prove that I'm right or make you feel guilty I just didn't want to keep carrying all these things without ever expressing them I would genuinely like to hear your side too because I've only been left with my own thoughts and questions all this time without any explanations and I didn't blame over you anywhere and the problem happened was you both had played over me as the pawn it feels like that way yet I did everything in my power to come through what all happened yet I can't accept anything over but this is the reality which I hope doesn't it didn't exist as an real reality and the fact a good thing happened was I got kicked out of my home on my own and it was not due to any of thses but on my own will of actions I myself had said my mother about all the things but the thing which didn't add up was the first conversation happened that day where my mom sent a snap as paneer fruit and she offered you some yet you declined but the change in your voice and the tears of yours marked the beginning of everything yet it holds the sin I got the taste getting played by others when you were also a reason I got my spark back to me but yet you all had talked behind my back heard by others yet didn't known by me but even then it was said by you that nothing was ever hidden from me yet the truth was something I had to say by myself and the words that once made me feel safe slowly became the very things that made me question everything
I still keep on thinking whether I was ever someone you genuinely trusted or just someone who was allowed to know only what you wanted me to know and maybe that's what hurt the most not the things that were said but the fact that I had to hear them from someone else while standing there believing everything was just as you could have told me and somewhere between the person who helped me find my spark again and the person who became a reason for it to get lost I lost the ability to understand which memories I was supposed to hold close and which ones I was supposed to regret now I really considered you at the same level as our bros like sai kavi or viki yet you were one among them and someone I never thought I would have to question this way because I never saw you as someone different from the rest or keep u at a distance when it came to trust yet somehow you became someone whose actions left me with the most unanswered questions and I never expected that the same person I considered so close would become someone I had to hear things about from others rather than directly from you and maybe that's what made everything harder because I never thought I would have to question whether the friendship I valued so much meant the same to you as it did to me yet we have said bye so many times but when it was the last time you said I didn't even say it yet you couldn't even realise it as it was only decided from ur side that things had been settled but not from my side but in general I won't share my stuffs with everyone and there to fix it alone but at some point we shared things as things got heavy around us but u were a man hater yet at some point you included me into it which I failed to realise I got a realistic view on matureness from our conversation but at the same time the last conversation was the place it was completely missed out and you were the one who understood me without the need of any conversation or explanations and listened through every rant about everything and absolutely nothing yet I would have fought for you but not with you for the explanations and conversation occured without me in any favours acknowledged by me I still think why was I that easy to put the blame on was I never even heard anything through me yet got judged by all even once before some times before any incidents occurred my mom said I got the best circle of friends around me yet I got out from get and the circle within a month not even a year when did wanting a hard conversation became a reason to go all out to be silent and no one lucking no one will ever know the whole story not what happened not what it did to me not how many times I broke down in silence and still showed up the next morning like nothing had happened nobody knows what goes on inside my head and maybe nobody ever will people judge me make assumptions about my life and my blood boils knowing how little they know and I accepted the way you treated me because it was you and tried to understand your reasons and stayed through the pain because I believed in you that there might have something wrong which is unheard but now I wonder did you ever stop to think about how I felt? did you ever care about the weight of your actions over me but the feeling when not been sad but not happy either just empty and tired of everything with a question do misunderstandings really end friendships and for a long time I believed they didn't I thought one wrong move one missed conversation would have this much impact and the conversation I asked by the next morning could not have ruined everything I used to panic whenever someone became distant but didn't now when someone joke about u leaving me but it's really not funny because a part of me was missed out as that day I was missed out and I haven't been the same after that and sometimes even in my happiest moments it just hits me all over again that why always I have to understand everyone yet none could have is the question I have with u but before it was but not now and I didn't know why I don't even know what i'm grieving anymore I mourn things that I can't explain the endings that never came with closure was different after that last message I told myself I wouldn't reach out to you again not because I stopped caring but I could see you peaceful and due to me in all this days something might have disturbed you in some ways now surrounded by celebrations yet silently missing a world I once had with everyone around isn't the same anymore and the conversation involving me without me I took it personal because I would have never done the same to you anything happened I would have thought twice before doing something that might have hurt you for making you feel small for choosing something that would disturb you and your peace I moved with care when it came to you and I done it every single time that's why it hits differently when that same care wasn't given back this was never about being too understanding or maturity It's about knowing the kind of bond I gave and realizing it wasn't met the same way I showed up with good will with respect with a heart that considered you in every situation I know without a doubt I would have never made you question your worth the way you made me question mine but you had acted upon cold heartedly on this one single thing which wasn't expected or explained by you and to think how easy it was to not need to talk about how easy it is to convince ourselves that the story we have made up about each other is the entirely correct one and absolutely true and the difference between us? you judge me for what I just done in a critical situation but would have not took this thing much accountability for your actions as I know nothing was the best thing to be occured and the thing I remember was at the second sem when my mom had a Convo with you stating about trust and the reply I gave saying that they would never do that to me was the dumbest thing i ever said yet I can't accept what went wrong and where and from all this I'm not saying you have to agree with my explanation I'm not even saying it changes how much I may have hurt you and I got to but at least I have the tendency to question back yet it's unwanted from your but I can't hold back self questioning myself anymore I don't have my self in peace at the moment but yet can't know anything fully and it hurts alot!...

Question

I had a friend similar to me but she got into a problem with my girlfriend she was more than a friend more like a twin talks to my whole family yet she ragebitied my girlfriend and got into trouble but I don't know her side of story and decided to send a text but I want to add something to make her to say out what it was and show her guilt if not gonna talk back 
This is the message
It's been 8 months since that afternoon it's not okay or cool to leave things without knowing what was heard or unheard and u drifted further apart I don't want to disturb your peace as I didn't have mine doesn't mean to disturb yours I really can't take everything as granted to act on my wish and I acknowledge your decision but without even including me in any of the conversation involving me you guys decided things about me in a place where I wasn't present I don't know what I should feel was all the time around a joke to everyone? I can't face anyone like the old days before this I came up from a similar situation which took years to get over I can't accept and move on without answers haunting my sleep and rest of my life where did I go wrong what was the mistake that I ever did even though I told each and everything without any lies only to you I can't think what all of it meant even though I turned back over the old conversations with hours of chatters spent I was abandoned at the time needed as I asked about what happened I didn't get a reply from you or her about what conversation went through between both and one thing I've always wondered is why you never told me about the things that were hurting you especially regarding her when they were actually happening was there a reason you couldn't talk to me about them? did you feel I wouldn't understand or was there something about me that made you hesitate to open up? I wish I had known what was going on in your mind back then because maybe if I had understood what was hurting you things might have turned out differently I never wanted you to feel that you had to carry anything alone especially when I always believed we could talk about anything without having to hide how we felt and another thing I've always wanted to explain is the situation involving you and her when you asked me to prioritise you in front of her I was honestly put in a very awkward position u were someone so dear to me and I never wanted to make you feel less important but when two people who mattered to me were caught up in such a heated situation how was I supposed to choose one over the other? I couldn't support one by hurting the other and I felt completely helpless in that moment and what could have u done better if you were put into that kind of situation I would be glad if I can get a clear view but I can't get it on my own way yet I was not at that place as rather I could have made into a troubled situation as there could be a problem come through our department was also a reason to move out and the maths class next was also the worst part in that I never thought it would have gone this bad or else if it was anything I would have stood there but the after decessions you had took was not the appreciateable part I couldn't decide anything unless I knew everything fully I had lots of disagreements going through my mind and when I was stuck in my own situation at home I felt I needed your support and instead I felt you turned away and cut things off that was neither hurt nor anger what hurt me even more was that when I was struggling with my own situation at home I felt like I had nobody to lean on I genuinely expected you to understand what I was going through just as I had always tried to understand you instead everything seemed to fall apart and I felt like I was losing someone who had been such an important part of my life this friendship meant so much to me that I couldn't get what I felt and it took me longer to figure out what had happened to turn into a major arc of my life all I heard was u hated me to the core yet I can't feel the same as I couldn't see you that way I knew I was wrong at some place at some point yet I can't figure it out without an honest conversation after everything had calmed down I still remember this January when I was low you reached out right away and told me everything would be okay and to call and tell you everything that's the friendship I hoped for yet things had already turned against me if you had told me earlier I think I could have handled things better rather than this uncertainty it was never about being right or wrong it was me who couldn't realise anything going on around me either you or anyone else this was inevitable all along I considered you more than a member of my family like the opposite gender of me and my twin yet u took me as the baddest person and refused to understand my situation I was there at the places and situations where I could have answered the questions about me myself yet nothing was disclosed to me and it keeps dragging my mind I gave out all my secrets knowing that you wouldn't go apart from me yet I don't know what made you go through that maybe the mistake was from my side too as I didn't realise what was happening but I had never let down your name in front of anyone I'm not texting you to argue or to prove that I'm right or make you feel guilty I just didn't want to keep carrying all these things without ever expressing them I would genuinely like to hear your side too because I've only been left with my own thoughts and questions all this time without any explanations and I didn't blame over you anywhere and the problem happened was you both had played over me as the pawn it feels like that way yet I did everything in my power to come through what all happened yet I can't accept anything over but this is the reality which I hope doesn't it didn't exist as an real reality and the fact a good thing happened was I got kicked out of my home on my own and it was not due to any of thses but on my own will of actions I myself had said my mother about all the things but the thing which didn't add up was the first conversation happened that day where my mom sent a snap as paneer fruit and she offered you some yet you declined but the change in your voice and the tears of yours marked the beginning of everything yet it holds the sin I got the taste getting played by others when you were also a reason I got my spark back to me but yet you all had talked behind my back heard by others yet didn't known by me but even then it was said by you that nothing was ever hidden from me yet the truth was something I had to say by myself and the words that once made me feel safe slowly became the very things that made me question everything
I still keep on thinking whether I was ever someone you genuinely trusted or just someone who was allowed to know only what you wanted me to know and maybe that's what hurt the most not the things that were said but the fact that I had to hear them from someone else while standing there believing everything was just as you could have told me and somewhere between the person who helped me find my spark again and the person who became a reason for it to get lost I lost the ability to understand which memories I was supposed to hold close and which ones I was supposed to regret now I really considered you at the same level as our bros like sai kavi or viki yet you were one among them and someone I never thought I would have to question this way because I never saw you as someone different from the rest or keep u at a distance when it came to trust yet somehow you became someone whose actions left me with the most unanswered questions and I never expected that the same person I considered so close would become someone I had to hear things about from others rather than directly from you and maybe that's what made everything harder because I never thought I would have to question whether the friendship I valued so much meant the same to you as it did to me yet we have said bye so many times but when it was the last time you said I didn't even say it yet you couldn't even realise it as it was only decided from ur side that things had been settled but not from my side but in general I won't share my stuffs with everyone and there to fix it alone but at some point we shared things as things got heavy around us but u were a man hater yet at some point you included me into it which I failed to realise I got a realistic view on matureness from our conversation but at the same time the last conversation was the place it was completely missed out and you were the one who understood me without the need of any conversation or explanations and listened through every rant about everything and absolutely nothing yet I would have fought for you but not with you for the explanations and conversation occured without me in any favours acknowledged by me I still think why was I that easy to put the blame on was I never even heard anything through me yet got judged by all even once before some times before any incidents occurred my mom said I got the best circle of friends around me yet I got out from get and the circle within a month not even a year when did wanting a hard conversation became a reason to go all out to be silent and no one lucking no one will ever know the whole story not what happened not what it did to me not how many times I broke down in silence and still showed up the next morning like nothing had happened nobody knows what goes on inside my head and maybe nobody ever will people judge me make assumptions about my life and my blood boils knowing how little they know and I accepted the way you treated me because it was you and tried to understand your reasons and stayed through the pain because I believed in you that there might have something wrong which is unheard but now I wonder did you ever stop to think about how I felt? did you ever care about the weight of your actions over me but the feeling when not been sad but not happy either just empty and tired of everything with a question do misunderstandings really end friendships and for a long time I believed they didn't I thought one wrong move one missed conversation would have this much impact and the conversation I asked by the next morning could not have ruined everything I used to panic whenever someone became distant but didn't now when someone joke about u leaving me but it's really not funny because a part of me was missed out as that day I was missed out and I haven't been the same after that and sometimes even in my happiest moments it just hits me all over again that why always I have to understand everyone yet none could have is the question I have with u but before it was but not now and I didn't know why I don't even know what i'm grieving anymore I mourn things that I can't explain the endings that never came with closure was different after that last message I told myself I wouldn't reach out to you again not because I stopped caring but I could see you peaceful and due to me in all this days something might have disturbed you in some ways now surrounded by celebrations yet silently missing a world I once had with everyone around isn't the same anymore and the conversation involving me without me I took it personal because I would have never done the same to you anything happened I would have thought twice before doing something that might have hurt you for making you feel small for choosing something that would disturb you and your peace I moved with care when it came to you and I done it every single time that's why it hits differently when that same care wasn't given back this was never about being too understanding or maturity It's about knowing the kind of bond I gave and realizing it wasn't met the same way I showed up with good will with respect with a heart that considered you in every situation I know without a doubt I would have never made you question your worth the way you made me question mine but you had acted upon cold heartedly on this one single thing which wasn't expected or explained by you and to think how easy it was to not need to talk about how easy it is to convince ourselves that the story we have made up about each other is the entirely correct one and absolutely true and the difference between us? you judge me for what I just done in a critical situation but would have not took this thing much accountability for your actions as I know nothing was the best thing to be occured and the thing I remember was at the second sem when my mom had a Convo with you stating about trust and the reply I gave saying that they would never do that to me was the dumbest thing i ever said yet I can't accept what went wrong and where and from all this I'm not saying you have to agree with my explanation I'm not even saying it changes how much I may have hurt you and I got to but at least I have the tendency to question back yet it's unwanted from your but I can't hold back self questioning myself anymore I don't have my self in peace at the moment but yet can't know anything fully and it hurts alot!...

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Took me awhile to read it all..but I understand how hard it must've been for you.. and idk if this message would reach u but Im here to let you know that... its quite bitter but you cant control when people change.. change is Very hard, Im a living proof tht change is very hard to accept...

But given the case in hand... you have been wronged given you werent given clarity from the other person..and Im sorry you had to go through that.

Currently.. it has happened...and things wont change..so firstly just sit with the feelings and just accept that shit has happened..
Once you feel a bit calmer, go out and try having fun there.. and I know its easier said than done but I can understand the lose.

But know that these feelings will take dauntingly longer periods to subside and thats okay.. Life is fucked yes.. not your fault, but it is your responsibility as to how you move on from here..

You'll have to accept the fact that she wont return..and that there are better people out there... with whom you cant share it all obviously.. but share a lil bit and see how they respond.. and then decide whether you wanna share or no.. And just maintain some sort of connection as it feels good..

Know that everyone's vessel is different.. so the capacity of how they move with friendships or uncomfortable feelings are different too.. 
She prolly had way lesser capacity than you..and thats completely alright... it isnt your fault..

I know it hurts.. but you'll have to take baby steps and accept it, before moving on... sometimes holding onto the rope makes the knot tighter and it hurts a lot more than letting go..

I wish you all the best and Im really proud u made it this far... I hope this message reaches you and I wish you all the very best... Know that I believe you can make through it.. It IS POSSIBLE. The right people will find you.! Be brave. Be kind. Be you. BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF!!