“I had a friend from school we were super close did everything together we even lived together for 3 years during Covid because he had nowhere to go.
After this we drifted apart for a while and I kept trying to reconnect but he would always cancel last minute or ignore my messages. I took this as I had done something wrong and I couldn’t figure out what.
A year passes and he finally agrees to meet with me and I go round and there is a weird vibe with him and the people he is living with and I’m shitting bricks thinking I’ve got something coming. Anyway some time passes and the other guys leave and I’m really confused I thought we were going to the pub or something.
We play some video games and I’m very on edge and out of nowhere he tells me he is bi. I immediately start panicking and I don’t know what to do a few seconds go by and he starts looking at me like I was going to hate him so in a split second I just say I’m bi aswell.
It’s so embarrassing I’m ashamed of myself. Anyway he starts asking questions and I’m thinking in my head this is a big moment and I’ve completely fucked this up so I keep going keep lying.
Anyway after a while he’s happy I’m trying not to let him see the imaginary pitch fork I’m imagining going straight through my skull at Mach Jesus and I leave.
I don’t think I ate for a few days trying to figure out how to get out of this but I couldn’t so I settled on I’ll just say I’m bi and only make advances to women and everything will be fine.
How wrong could I be.
We kept in contact he was away a lot so it was pretty much only on the phone. The guilt was killing me every time he called me.
So I decided that I would tell him the truth and be a man. So I did. He was very upset understandably and I knew this would really hurt him so I did it in the best way possible bear in mind it had to be done on the phone he was out of the country for at least a year and was never planning on returning. So as good as it could make it.
I tried to call him after a few weeks had passed and he didn’t pick up (fair enough). Called him a few weeks later and he picked up and I was so happy and it was like everything went back to normal for a while. Then he stopped calling again maybe a year later and a while after that I had found out he had visited the country without saying anything. I was really upset about this and I just felt worse and worse.
A while later he calls and says he’s going to be visiting and wants to see my then current room mate but is being really funny about seeing me my roommate more or less forces him so I asked if there was anything he wanted to say to me. And he had a go at me. But I realised he thought I was making fun of him so I explained again what had happened and he won’t believe me.
He told all of our mutuals at I had made fun of him when coming out and that had the reaction you can Imagen.
And he is still bitter to this day 6 years after the day it started.
I just want to dig into a hole and die the amount of people who think I am such a bad person is in the 1000s I’m genuinely thinking of moving to a new country”
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Someone answered with kindness...
not many people do well under pressure. i believe you that you werent making fun of them. maybe it's best if you say you were and repent? i think most of these people will want to forgive you over wanting to take sides in an arguement. it's not your fault but pretending it is could fix it. my trans friend came out by saying they wanted to be called a different name, but they named themselves after an anime character so i thought they were joking and laughed at them in front of a lot of people. ive personally found that trans/gay/bi communities can actually be really mean and unaccepting and ive heard the same thing a lot from queerer communities.
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Wandering voices — answers no one has read yet
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Another soul answered...
(same person as first comment) im sorry. it feels like queer people shouldnt be mean like that because they know what it feels like for society not to accept them. there's this girl who spread rumors about me sleeping with people and harassing people and ive had strangers call me a whore. an old friend hates me and pressures people into not talking to me anymore and made me lose a friend. im worried that when i go to school again no one who's a good person will want to talk to me. people said death threats and people have brought up jumping me, like behind my back, and my "friends" didnt even tell me until it randomely came up months later and it did and still makes me so nervous.
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Another soul answered...
There is no point now the damage is done I was bulled before and ostracised after. The only people who talked to me were homophobs and racists. People I’ve never met know me from this he was very well liked. I nearly killed myself over this and was sent to hospital. And he still wants more from me. I hide where I work from him thinking he’s going to loge a complaint and get me fired