i had a breakup 5 months ago. she was the best person I've ever met in my life. it was a long distance relationship and we nvr even met once. she was older than me by 3yrs(i'm 22 now and she's 25). we broke up because her family was pressuring her to get married and i couldn't talk abt her in my house because of some family issues. once when my father caught me txting her, both of my parents vented out their anger becuase she was also from a different state of India (i'm from kerala and she's from mumbai). she started losing hope from tht day itself but she held on as much as she could because both of us equally wanted this to happen somehow. she lost her to covid and stays with her father and a younger sister. they all used to live in kuwait. her father is above 60. he had a govt job in kuwait. when they told him to retire because of kuwait's rules, they had to go back to india. her father married again in india. she (my gf) was very against it but i also encouraged her to let her father remarry because when both of them, she and her sister, gets married and go away, he'll be alone. ever since tht marriage, she had a lot of fights with her new stepmom. she's a bit too sensitive and whenever something happened, it used to affect her emotional state way too much. even if it was a very minor issue, it used to affect her. becuase of these fights, her dad also used to say hurtful stuff to her like, pls get married and go away from their life, and those words impacted her way too much. she used to cry all her problems to me and i used to console and comfort her as much as i could.
i'm not a role model child child in my fam. my dad was very strict and i used to exploit every bit of my freedom which i got. tht caused a lot of problems in school and out equally. since my childhood, i grew up fearing my father more than loving him. i do love him but i fear him more. we dont share such a bond in which i could talk abt my problems to him openly. i dont even talk abt my problems to my mom or sis. this yr, my dad wanted to get my sis married off anyhow and was searching for a groom every way possible. by the mid of june, he found a suitable match and the wedding was also fixed. BUT, by tht time, a guy came to see her (my gf). he ticked all the boxes she and her dad had and she couldn't/didn't want to say no too. we were taking a short break from txting each other at tht time and i came to know abt it aftr everything happened. we used to txt daily but we kept it minimal because she had a feeling tht this wont happen the way we expected it to happen and she didnt want to get hurt because of this too. i used to assure her tht i'll dow everything i can to make this happen but as it turns out, i'm a bigger coward than i imagined. she otld me abt tht proposal herself and she also told me tht she said yes to it. i was planning to talk to my parents about her aftr my sister got married. i had to learn tht time nvr waits for anyone the hard way. she's going to get married this december and there's nothing tht i can do to stop it because its already too late and i'm still afraid of talking about this in to my parents. i dont know wht to do. i planned my entire life with her and now i'm left hanging while she's about to start a new life. i miss her a lot. more than anything, i miss her presence in my life. i didnt even talk to my friends abt this because i didnt want to jinx it up. only a select few of my friends know abt this. when i told them abt this breakup, all of them advised the same thing - with time, everything will fade away. i dont believe it because only i know what i lost and how badly i wanted it. idk wht to do anymore. i even stopped praying because i feel tht even God betrayed me

Question

i had a breakup 5 months ago. she was the best person I've ever met in my life. it was a long distance relationship and we nvr even met once. she was older than me by 3yrs(i'm 22 now and she's 25). we broke up because her family was pressuring her to get married and i couldn't talk abt her in my house because of some family issues. once when my father caught me txting her, both of my parents vented out their anger becuase she was also from a different state of India (i'm from kerala and she's from mumbai). she started losing hope from tht day itself but she held on as much as she could because both of us equally wanted this to happen somehow. she lost her to covid and stays with her father and a younger sister. they all used to live in kuwait. her father is above 60. he had a govt job in kuwait. when they told him to retire because of kuwait's rules, they had to go back to india. her father married again in india. she (my gf) was very against it but i also encouraged her to let her father remarry because when both of them, she and her sister, gets married and go away, he'll be alone. ever since tht marriage, she had a lot of fights with her new stepmom. she's a bit too sensitive and whenever something happened, it used to affect her emotional state way too much. even if it was a very minor issue, it used to affect her. becuase of these fights, her dad also used to say hurtful stuff to her like, pls get married and go away from their life, and those words impacted her way too much. she used to cry all her problems to me and i used to console and comfort her as much as i could. 
i'm not a role model child child in my fam. my dad was very strict and i used to exploit every bit of my freedom which i got. tht caused a lot of problems in school and out equally.  since my childhood, i grew up fearing my father more than loving him. i do love him but i fear him more. we dont share such a bond in which i could talk abt my problems to him openly. i dont even talk abt my problems to my mom or sis. this yr, my dad wanted to get my sis married off anyhow and was searching for a groom every way possible. by the mid of june, he found a suitable match and the wedding was also fixed. BUT, by tht time, a guy came to see her (my gf). he ticked all the boxes she and her dad had and she couldn't/didn't want to say no too. we were taking a short break from txting each other at tht time and i came to know abt it aftr everything happened. we used to txt daily but we kept it minimal because she had a feeling tht this wont happen the way we expected it to happen and she didnt want to get hurt because of this too. i used to assure her tht i'll dow everything i can to make this happen but as it turns out, i'm a bigger coward than i imagined. she otld me abt tht proposal herself and she also told me tht she said yes to it. i was planning to talk to my parents about her aftr my sister got married. i had to learn tht time nvr waits for anyone the hard way. she's going to get married this december and there's nothing tht i can do to stop it because its already too late and i'm still afraid of talking about this in to my parents. i dont know wht to do. i planned my entire life with her and now i'm left hanging while she's about to start a new life. i miss her a lot. more than anything, i miss her presence in my life. i didnt even talk to my friends abt this because i didnt want to jinx it up. only a select few of my friends know abt this. when i told them abt this breakup, all of them advised the same thing - with time, everything will fade away. i dont believe it because only i know what i lost and how badly i wanted it.  idk wht to do anymore. i even stopped praying because i feel tht even God betrayed me

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

hey stranger, ik how hard it must be for you rn, believe it or not, the things u were telling the bond with your father, your whole story i can actually really feel it.... i wont say everything will settle with time, everything will fade away with time, cuz it doesnt, nothing really fades away, all i want to say is ki it must be really hard rn, everything must be feeling so difficult, i will never say move on, forget her and all, bcuz dont, from what you said she seems like a imp part of your life,imp part of you, and i think all these parts are what that makes us uk feel alive...the pain, the grief, the sorrow u r feeling rn, feel it fully, accept the fact that unfortunately, in this life you dont get her, and its ok you know?? its ok!!! what matters most is that the person you loved is gonna start a new life, and i think she would start it more peacefully if she knows that you are fine, you are better!! may god help your heart and help you deal with the whole situation! and the part about praying, i have been through the same situation too, at times i have felt like, what is the point even? howevr god's not gonna fulfil my prayers, then why even ask for them, i like to think that every human goes through this phase of denial ..ik for sure that you have not necessarily stopped bcuz your have stopped believing in god, but because you're tired, emotionally drained, disappointed, or struggling with things you cannot explain and remember Just because your prayers haven't been answered the way you wanted doesn't mean GOD hasn't heard them. may god heal you! and parts of u that u dont speak about!