I filed an HR complaint through my director about my manager's conduct: yelling, comments tied to promotion, and language about "consequences" for my job. HR paused our one-on-ones and set up a meeting with my manager, my director, and an HR representative.

In that meeting, my manager called me a bad performer with a bad attitude and said she hadn't done anything wrong, but she also admitted she'd yelled at me in front of a coworker and that she didn't like it when I told her I didn't want to be yelled at. After I filed the complaint, I got pulled from two meetings without any warning. HR told my manager that kind of thing can look like retaliation.

At the follow-up meeting, HR put a stop to direct one-on-ones between us, and I don't have to be in meetings with her anymore. I'm temporarily reporting straight to my director while they figure out where I land permanently. But he also told me two things bothered me: he said people raised concerns about my test-case writing and about me having a "bad attitude" toward my manager, though he admitted he doesn't actually know if either is true. He also said I'm under increased scrutiny now, a "microscope," though he insists it isn't a warning or a PIP. He said he told my manager the same thing.

**How I've been feeling**

Even though I went through the right channels and documented everything, I keep feeling like I ended up being treated as the problem. Like speaking up somehow made me the one under suspicion instead of her.

**What I want to ask**

- Based on everything I just told you, do you think I was wrong to go to HR?
- Who do you see as actually being in the wrong here, me or my manager?
- Does it seem fair that I'm now under the same kind of scrutiny she is, when I'm the one who raised the complaint?
- If you were in my position, what would you do next?

Question

I filed an HR complaint through my director about my manager's conduct: yelling, comments tied to promotion, and language about "consequences" for my job. HR paused our one-on-ones and set up a meeting with my manager, my director, and an HR representative.

In that meeting, my manager called me a bad performer with a bad attitude and said she hadn't done anything wrong, but she also admitted she'd yelled at me in front of a coworker and that she didn't like it when I told her I didn't want to be yelled at. After I filed the complaint, I got pulled from two meetings without any warning. HR told my manager that kind of thing can look like retaliation.

At the follow-up meeting, HR put a stop to direct one-on-ones between us, and I don't have to be in meetings with her anymore. I'm temporarily reporting straight to my director while they figure out where I land permanently. But he also told me two things bothered me: he said people raised concerns about my test-case writing and about me having a "bad attitude" toward my manager, though he admitted he doesn't actually know if either is true. He also said I'm under increased scrutiny now, a "microscope," though he insists it isn't a warning or a PIP. He said he told my manager the same thing.

**How I've been feeling**

Even though I went through the right channels and documented everything, I keep feeling like I ended up being treated as the problem. Like speaking up somehow made me the one under suspicion instead of her.

**What I want to ask**

- Based on everything I just told you, do you think I was wrong to go to HR?
- Who do you see as actually being in the wrong here, me or my manager?
- Does it seem fair that I'm now under the same kind of scrutiny she is, when I'm the one who raised the complaint?
- If you were in my position, what would you do next?

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

HR serves the company, not you. 
I know that's hard to hear, but it's the truth regardless of what you may be told; when decisions are made, the choice best for the organization will be the one they make, every time.
So, in your shoes. Do you truly understand, regardless of tone, what your manager wants? If you can find that, and if you can provide it, all will likely be well.  If you can't, the best time to find a job is while you still have one.