“I feel so undeserving of happiness or love. Its suffocating me every time someone compliments me or praises me because i always feel like they're just saying it to make me feel better. I dont like how i look or how i act with people around me, i feel so selfish with the things i do. i'm not a good friend. i've been trying to ignore these thought and have been clean (from sh) for a few months now.. but it still plagues me. it isnt rlly a big deal hundreds of people deal with it but i wish that one day i'll wake up and the first thing i think about is how today will be instead of berating myself from the moment i wake up. i have expressed this to my friends, told them i dont like myself and that i could never be happy with myself. they did help, comforting me and stuff but nothing really changed. told my parents, they just thought i was using it as an excuse to skip school (they found out about the sh too), and im just kinda lost. i dont have an ambition or a vision of the future. i've come to accept death but yeah.... i dont have anything to live for. people tell me theres lots to look forward to,, but what really is the point? wanted to talk my school therapist, but doubt they'll be of much help. i feel insanely jealous of my friends though they've done nothing to upset me or make me feel jealous. but everyone around me just seem so put together, pretty and they fit in. i constantly hate myself when i'm with them. but they're the only friends i have. i feel so ashamed to admit that i dislike/am jealous of the very person i compliment everyday and hang out with. am i bad person? i cant unfriend them either.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
first of all it is lowkey normal to be jealoused of ur friends and secondly the only solution is to love urself no matter how u look but u have to oe urself to fit in others because if u don't love urself you'll lose spark and drained and then no one will love you so it's better to think positive because if u can overthink this much negative then u can sometimes think thoda bohot positive also and that will change your day just be obsessed with yourself and that will sort of manifestation ok and lastly pick up a goal and work on it because it is really not just looks ok and there's a theory the more u are busy the less it will affect u
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Wandering voices — answers no one has read yet
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Another soul answered...
If you've think you'll perform sh, please consult a medical professional, they'll be way more helpful than a stranger on internet
Coming to your problem
If think you don't deserve any love, it might be because you want someone who will pamper you with love, which isn't the ideal case
As you said that your friends console you but it doesn't affect you then you need to ask yourself, what is it that you truly want, what do you mean by love. This might hurt you, but please do this exercise atleast once