“I feel hopeless like I'm completely alone. No one understands me. We I try to be with someone as a friend it ends up being heartbreaking.We used to be really close friends, but something happened between us, and I made some mistakes while trying to fix things. I apologised, but things haven't been the same since. She has been keeping her distance, and I'm trying to respect that while learning to accept the situation. I still miss our friendship, but I'm slowly learning to let things be.She talks to me practically nowadays for studies and assignments. Yesterday I approached to study together with me and texted me when she felt ready to study she said she will study at night but didn't reach out at all after that.This was my previous friendship. Now I'm completely alone.So I disappeared from her for the past 7 days and today I accidentally saw her. I didn't post anything either on social media for 6 days
So it was happened three months ago. And we were assigned to do English assignment together and we went to the study room to do it. Usually she will write everything and when I ask her she will say my hand writing is not good.So in the study room I didn't what else to do and there was a gang staring at us.it made me uncomfortable. Plus she also talking to me fedupful like don't know why. But she was talking normally to the other girl. I helped her cut the pictures while went out for a phone call and return she was cutting the another. And I just sat on the table and she asked my phone and I gave it to her then she was using it. I felt uncomfortable doing nothing I asked for my phone first she denied and I asked in a rude way.Then she gave back and thre was a phone call from my mom and after hearing my family situation I left the study room leaving her alone with the assignment. I came to check on her but she was no more there. The next day, we usually go to class together but that day she was waiting for another girl down another block. She didn't contact me or anything. In class I tried to help her she was talking to other girl but to me she was being fed up the answers become short. Later I text her. Her replies was so blunt and rude and probably because she was hurting. I cried alone in my room. But I went on and apologized later on to her buying her a favorite drink. She said I don't have time to talk but was talking to the other girl on the corrider. I gave her the printout she didn't say a word. Again the next day she did the same. And it was for our English presentation I was already anxious. I asked her which was my part and she said mind you I don't hav.e your chat I deleted it. I mean at least show me the presentation paper but she didn't reply and she was talking to the other girl. She sat away that side and claim it later that she have to sit there because she was keeping her stuffs there the other girl was validating it too. So I felt like I don't want to have credits for something I don't do. So I asked the sir to give the preparation credit nothing else but he started to ask questions and lecture us about our situation which made her exposed. Some more she claims that she was mad at me for leaving and was keeping by herself and maintaining distants. She exposed my situation that I was being disliked by the gang to the sir Infront of a few friends. She was mad at me because we opened up to the sir Infront of some of our classmates.Tge other girl with her had no idea whats going on. The sir even asked was she the culprit which triggered her.then the sir advice to not talk to each other and give ourselves some space. I listened to him. I didn't talk to her. But for other assignments I can't do if there is no communication so I went on with another group and she feels triggered. So she paired for ecad with a guy without informing me. I told the other girl who was with her what happened and she advised me and I was anxious at the moment. Hana feel exposed for that too because I thought she might told about us to her but she didn't. And again for English this ng group kick out the other girl danesha because she wants to include Kong. But she went and tell Hana that she kicked her out because of me. Perhaps I don't have a group at all.so both of them were against me and I tried to explain myself to them. But the replies from Hana was so rude. Before while going back home a girl from my class asked me if she can follow me to the train station so since Hana is not talking I agreed to her. Then I felt bad because usually we go together. I messaged her but she replied rudely and said it is over. I thought it was over and become anxious and started texting danesha until they both decide to talk face2face. And while face to face she confirmed that she was waiting for danesha that day because danesha was going through problems too. And she said that I'm narcissistic even though I apologized multiple times to her. And she with anger to me. After a few weeks I sent her a apologize text with reflect and regret of what I did. And she said she forgives me and I can talk to her as a normal friend. And she started engaging with me practically again. But nothing deep. For her bday I bought her the things she mentioned and wrote 9 pages letter for her. But there was no reply regrading the gift. And she asked me help for the miniproject I helped her a-z even though she is not my team. I offered her to study together after that but she didn't follow up. She only message me when she needs something then she don't bother me. In the beginning before we become friends she was the one who searched for me to go to class. We clicked soon we become close. We do everything together but I re-read the conversations I had with her...and I honestly fucked up....like even though I was emotionally overwhelmed I should have stayed with her that night because it's a duo assignment. She was left under pressure with all the work alone that night and her anger was valid. And then instead of giving the space she needed I tried to explain more like validating myself with reasons which can't be accepted as an excuse to leave her with the assignment. Third, while she was using my phone that night I didn't know what to do and was overwhelmed so I asked her for my phone and when she didn't give it I asked in a rude way which made her even more fedup. I tried to fix this the next day but instead of calming down I overreacted. My messages were irrational when I read it now. And I can feel how exhausted she feels.Plus , I the following day I told the sir to give her credits and it becomes a discussion and made her exposed. Adding up to it, I talked about this situation to danesha that night because I was overwhelmed. She felt like I'm exposing her. I talked to you about this a few days later and accidentally wrote it in the chronology and she found it out and thinks I gossipped about her to you. After a month karrishma noticed my loneliness and try talking I didn't say to her anything until she told me that Hana said something about me too. I get emotional. Karrishma wanted to help me in the beginning so she bring me out to play with others. But she misunderstood it and thought I was or katrishma's side talking shit of her. But no I didn't talk shit about her to karrishma. Karrishma asked me what's going on between us and I told her because she said she will help me to talk to her. But it made her withdraw even more. She felt betrayed and her trust was broken.She didn't hate me but she felt fed up and her trust felt broken which made her can't be normal with me anymore like she used to.She is not an avoidant. She is someone who cares deeply and now after her trust is broken she withdraws because she don't feel emotionally safe anymore.She the one who came up to me first in the beginning.She showed interest by showing up for me, being by my side and cared for me. You won't believe this. She wiped my face when the other spread cake cream on my face for a birthday party and she asked me to come to her and grabbed a tissue and wiped it . She even fed me orange the peeling one when the others was eating by themselves. In the beginning of this semester she helped me to clean my room and sweep it even though I didn't ask her to. She follows me everywhere.Cant go a day without calling me. We will talk for hours. my parents knows after you the only person I talk to that long was her. She leans her head on my shoulders when she feels tired of everyone. Plays ml with me with we are alone. Do my hair for me.
It's honestly so hard for me because for me it's like once in a life time like a girl genuinely likes being around without me trying muchvnow it hurts so damn bad.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
This problem is quite normal among friends
I too have friends with whom there were serious fight
What I would like to say is that friends understand you just need to talk to them so just talk to them they will eventually understand
Word of caution never lose yourself in order to get someones validation cause then that relation would not be healthy.