I am so lost. I don't know how to move forward in a world that hates everyone and everything in equal measure. I wish I could take my life. It would be so peaceful. But I can't. I have people that rely on me. people who love me. I have so many reasons to stay, and I hate it. I'm torn between two parents who love me and hate each other. I am failing school because I have so much to think about and so many things weighing on my mind. My mom and I are going to lose our house if things keep going this way, and I just wish everything would go quiet. My health is deteriorating because we are too busy to remember to make appointments, and we don't own a car. My mom is going to lose her job soon. I've been getting into weed and drinking. I was raped. But nobody cares because I'm biologically male. I might be trans?? I don't know. Maybe it was all born out of a desperate need to be something I'm not and escape my life. I feel so fat even though I've gone days without eating before. I weigh 190 pounds at 5'8. Even outside of my personal issues, everything is so much all of the time. The world is being torn to shreds. Nobody's doing anything about it. People are treating wars, slaughter, and terrorism like a sporting event where you need to rep your team. We are in an economic crisis. AI outnumbers humans on the internet now. There's so much shit happening and none of it's good. I'm not even in my senior year of highschool yet. I have friends and loving parents. I shouldn't have any reason to be sad. But it's not even sadness it's just an endless pit of shame, dread, and apathy. Nothing is worth doing anymore so I just rot in bed. I don't go to school anymore. I don't take care of myself. I feel terrible because I don't eat or drink enough. I probably look terrible because I don't have the energy to wake up, nevermind shower, brush my teeth, or wash my face. I was born both physically and mentally disabled.

I know this isn't a question. I just need to put my thoughts somewhere. I know a lot of that probably just seemed like an edgy teenager talking about things I know nothing about but please believe me when I say that this is all very real and it is all happening to me. I am so sick and tired of it all. I just want a hug

Question

I am so lost. I don't know how to move forward in a world that hates everyone and everything in equal measure. I wish I could take my life. It would be so peaceful. But I can't. I have people that rely on me. people who love me. I have so many reasons to stay, and I hate it. I'm torn between two parents who love me and hate each other. I am failing school because I have so much to think about and so many things weighing on my mind. My mom and I are going to lose our house if things keep going this way, and I just wish everything would go quiet. My health is deteriorating because we are too busy to remember to make appointments, and we don't own a car. My mom is going to lose her job soon. I've been getting into weed and drinking. I was raped. But nobody cares because I'm biologically male. I might be trans?? I don't know. Maybe it was all born out of a desperate need to be something I'm not and escape my life. I feel so fat even though I've gone days without eating before. I weigh 190 pounds at 5'8. Even outside of my personal issues, everything is so much all of the time. The world is being torn to shreds. Nobody's doing anything about it. People are treating wars, slaughter, and terrorism like a sporting event where you need to rep your team. We are in an economic crisis. AI outnumbers humans on the internet now. There's so much shit happening and none of it's good. I'm not even in my senior year of highschool yet. I have friends and loving parents. I shouldn't have any reason to be sad. But it's not even sadness it's just an endless pit of shame, dread, and apathy. Nothing is worth doing anymore so I just rot in bed. I don't go to school anymore. I don't take care of myself. I feel terrible because I don't eat or drink enough. I probably look terrible because I don't have the energy to wake up, nevermind shower, brush my teeth, or wash my face. I was born both physically and mentally disabled.

I know this isn't a question. I just need to put my thoughts somewhere. I know a lot of that probably just seemed like an edgy teenager talking about things I know nothing about but please believe me when I say that this is all very real and it is all happening to me. I am so sick and tired of it all. I just want a hug

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

A king once gave a man his ring and said to him, "put something on it that would make a happy man sad, and a sad man happy." So the man got to work. He engraved four words on the ring, "this too shall pass." The ring was given back to the king during supper while he was laughing with his advisors. When the king read the engraved words on the ring, he instantly stopped laughing and became silent.

This silly parable might be a bit insensitive for your situation because this story is not real, while what you are experiencing is very much real. I just want to tell you that every hardship you experience will pass, just as every joy you feel will also pass. That's why you shouldn't fixate on your sorrow, but to look forward for when it passes amd is replaced with joy. I hope this helps. Sending hugs to you.