I am really confused about what I should do about my guy friend I have a crush on. He notices me like we talk in person but not on social media and he listens to me, carries my bag when I tell him to. But I also got to know that he hasn't moved on from his last situationship and is still waiting for her. I have been advised to play hard to get and I have been doing it but he doesn't seem to notice that. I am really confused if I should confess or let him go. When he gives me the slightest attention it feels really special because I think I am really deprived of romantic attention because I had my breakup 7 months ago. And I am confused about my ex as well because he has been popping up in my life since last month after so much time of silence. He has been wandering in my social circle, he is talking to other people who are close to me but not me. We haven't had a one on one conversation. He is talking about me, asking about me to my friends and not in a bad way but in a considerate and kind way but isn't talking to me. So now I don't know what to do, I'd be happy if someone could help.

Question

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

First, I want you to understand something: You are not confused because you have two boys in your life. You're confused because you have feelings for someone new, but a part of you is still trying to understand someone from your past. ❤️

And honestly, that's a difficult place to be emotionally.

Let's look at both situations separately.

### 💗 1. Your guy friend – the new crush

From what you've described:

* He talks to you in person.

* He listens to what you say.

* He carries your bag when you ask.

* He gives you little moments of attention.

* But he doesn't really interact with you on social media.

* He's apparently still waiting for his previous situationship.

Here's what I think:

His behaviour shows that he is comfortable with you and willing to be helpful. But it doesn't necessarily mean he has romantic feelings.

And the situationship part is important.

You cannot build something with someone who is emotionally waiting for somebody else.

My advice:

* Stop playing hard to get. You don't need mind games.

* Don't chase his attention either.

* Be yourself around him.

* Give him time, but don't put your feelings on hold for him.

I wouldn't recommend confessing just yet. First, understand whether he's emotionally available.

### 🥀 2. Your ex – the unexpected return

This situation is interesting.

He has started appearing in your social circle again.

* He's asking your friends about you.

* He's talking about you kindly.

* He's showing consideration.

* But he isn't approaching you directly.

There could be several explanations:

* He might be curious about how you're doing.

* He might miss talking to you.

* He might be hesitant about approaching you.

* He might simply want to know how you're doing without wanting to restart anything.

But remember:

Asking about you isn't the same as making an effort to reconnect with you.

Don't let indirect signals make you emotionally attached again.

If he genuinely wants to talk, he can communicate directly.

### 🫶 3. Something important about YOU

You mentioned that even the smallest attention from your crush feels special because you've been deprived of romantic attention after your breakup.

I want you to think about that.

Sometimes, after a breakup, even ordinary kindness can feel extraordinary because we miss feeling appreciated.

But please remember:

* You deserve consistency, not occasional attention.

* You deserve clarity, not confusion.

* You deserve someone who chooses to be present.

* You don't have to compete with someone's past.

And you don't have to find someone new just because your previous relationship ended.

### ❤️ 4. What I would suggest right now

For now, don't confess to your crush, don't chase your ex, and don't play games with either of them.

Just observe their actions.

Give yourself some emotional space. You don't have to make a decision immediately.

### 🌷 I want to ask you 4 questions.

I think your answers will help me understand the situation much better.

1\. About your crush: If tomorrow he tells you that he still loves his previous situationship, would you be able to move on from him?

2\. About your ex: If he suddenly messages you tomorrow saying, "I miss you", would you want him back?

3\. About your feelings: Do you genuinely like your guy friend, or do you sometimes feel happy simply because someone is giving you attention after your breakup?

4\. The most important one: If both your crush and your ex disappeared from your life tomorrow, whose absence would hurt you more?

Take your time answering. There is no judgment here. ❤️

One thing I really want you to remember: Don't choose someone just because you are afraid of being alone. Choose relationships where you feel respected, comfortable and valued. 🌸