I am going through a difficult phase in my life, and I genuinely need some advice and perspective.

I did not have a very conventional childhood. Growing up, I constantly witnessed my mother lying about even the smallest things. My father was extremely strict and controlling. He would question her about her salary, was not supportive of her in many situations, and often did not accompany her to family functions or social events. Over time, I noticed that my mother started lying about almost everything, seemingly as a way of dealing with the circumstances she was in.

I grew up hating this behaviour. I always felt that lying was wrong, and I never wanted to become someone like that.

However, as I grew older, I started noticing something deeply disturbing about myself.

I was working in a multinational company and went through an extremely stressful period at work. During that time, I took a week off by telling my colleagues that my father was in the hospital, which was not true. I think I was trying to escape a situation that had become emotionally overwhelming.

Around that time, I also started dating a colleague from my team. He was somewhat emotionally unavailable and had told me that he could not see himself marrying me. In response to that uncertainty, I started making up stories about my family and personal circumstances.

For example, I told him that my parents were already looking for marriage prospects for me. I had already told him that my father was unwell, and gradually, I started lying about several other things involving my family, my sisters, and my personal life.

The most frightening part is that I seem to have developed an urge to lie about almost everything, even when there is absolutely no need to. Sometimes I find myself making things up spontaneously, without even understanding why I am doing it.

I genuinely hate this habit. I feel guilty about it, but at the same time, I find it incredibly difficult to control. It almost feels automatic.

What scares me the most is that I am beginning to see the same behavioural patterns in myself that I witnessed in my mother while growing up. Someone whose behaviour I disliked so much is someone I now fear I am becoming.

I don't want to live like this. I don't want to build relationships based on lies, constantly remember what I have told people, or feel the need to create imaginary situations to deal with real-life problems.

I really dont know what to do

Question

I am going through a difficult phase in my life, and I genuinely need some advice and perspective.

I did not have a very conventional childhood. Growing up, I constantly witnessed my mother lying about even the smallest things. My father was extremely strict and controlling. He would question her about her salary, was not supportive of her in many situations, and often did not accompany her to family functions or social events. Over time, I noticed that my mother started lying about almost everything, seemingly as a way of dealing with the circumstances she was in.

I grew up hating this behaviour. I always felt that lying was wrong, and I never wanted to become someone like that.

However, as I grew older, I started noticing something deeply disturbing about myself.

I was working in a multinational company and went through an extremely stressful period at work. During that time, I took a week off by telling my colleagues that my father was in the hospital, which was not true. I think I was trying to escape a situation that had become emotionally overwhelming.

Around that time, I also started dating a colleague from my team. He was somewhat emotionally unavailable and had told me that he could not see himself marrying me. In response to that uncertainty, I started making up stories about my family and personal circumstances.

For example, I told him that my parents were already looking for marriage prospects for me. I had already told him that my father was unwell, and gradually, I started lying about several other things involving my family, my sisters, and my personal life.

The most frightening part is that I seem to have developed an urge to lie about almost everything, even when there is absolutely no need to. Sometimes I find myself making things up spontaneously, without even understanding why I am doing it.

I genuinely hate this habit. I feel guilty about it, but at the same time, I find it incredibly difficult to control. It almost feels automatic.

What scares me the most is that I am beginning to see the same behavioural patterns in myself that I witnessed in my mother while growing up. Someone whose behaviour I disliked so much is someone I now fear I am becoming.

I don't want to live like this. I don't want to build relationships based on lies, constantly remember what I have told people, or feel the need to create imaginary situations to deal with real-life problems.

I really dont know what to do

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

that is called compulsive lying and is a disorder that can be treated with therapy. you are not a bad person. you are under a lot of stress. your mother raised you and(i assume) is genetically related to you so it makes sense you would take on her bad habits. i hope you get better