I am a first generation law student. I sort of feel like even though I’m doing my best- i haven’t really done anything, I’m always doing the second best thing but never able to make it to the first best thing. Internship season is the worst. I send out 10 applications a day and no response. Meanwhile my friends who don’t study only party and have a great social life secure top firms because of connections. I can’t have those kind of connections cause I’m dating someone. I feel lonely left out and honestly way back in life. I often over pressurise myself and have started to find thrill in that. I don’t feel happy looking at my top marks, just satisfied. I forgot what real happiness feels like. I’m glued to my phone. My long distance boyfriend, calls from home and just my bed. My space is cluttered and i also don’t have the best health. I’ve gained weight, lost hair and feel tired all the time. I just want to feel light motivated and happy again.

Question

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

As someone navigating the job search as a recent graduate I can understand the frustration. Sending out hundreds of applications whether for internships or full time positions without receiving any responses sucks. The thing most people don't mention is just how demoralizing it can often get because no matter how resilient you are the higher that application number climbs the worse you feel. I can also relate to the feeling of not being good enough and downplaying your achievements. It's something I've also struggled with. What I find helps it sometimes taking a moment and looking back to see how far you've come. You've mentioned you're a law student. Think back to your 5 or 6 year old self. How proud would that child be to see you've come this far. I find that sort of thinking and looking at how far I've come and the obstacles I've overcome help. It helps remotivate me a little and brings me some happiness when I see  all that I've overcome. I'd recommend writing it down in a list or something similar. I'm not sure why but I find it makes a bigger impact. I wish the best for you!