“I am 24M. I'm afraid and insecure to find love. A key reason is I'm ugly. I am of short height, I don't have good looks, I don't have a bold personality that women get attracted to. I'm unattractive enough to not be chosen or looked at. I know that looks aren't the only thing, but in today's world it's a very important thing. I know that maintaining oneself and being groomed is very important, but it doesn't help much. No, I'm not a simp who falls for every living being but there were a few people whom I really liked, and we were very close friends back then, but once they found out I like them, their reactions were like 'Hell no', 'Not this guy', etc. Yes I understand that liking is a personal choice and no one must be forced to like or dislike something. But I've encountered some incidents which really made me feel like I'm pathetic. No, I haven't misbehaved or disrespected any of them to listen these words, I'm sure about that. But it still feels like what have I done to get to hear this everytime. I have always wanted to be loved and appreciated since I was a kid. And I know that love and relationships are not the only thing in this world, but I don't know why it still hurts sometimes and feels like a void in my life. I know I am speaking a lot and all of these might feel as if I am an adult with the brain of a toddler but I hope if someone understands me. I know that if I am that much ugly and disgusting then I mustn't ask for love because from others perspective they too deserve someone attractive and strong personality which I am not. I am not blaming them for not choosing me, I just want to know how will this feeling of disgust towards myself will end. I know some people might say that I should not break down, and go and meet different people and approach them, and I must learn how to handle rejection. But the point is, it's not only about the rejection, it's about the humiliation that comes along for something I can't change. I'm just tired and scared of the humiliation, and the feeling that I go through everytime that I am not enough. There's one more thing, I don't whether I must say this online or not, but I can't s*xually satisfy any woman, because I don't have the length. And honestly I believe, every person should happily be able to fulfil themselves with their partners, therefore I must also not pursue love because I can't do that. Everyday it feels like if theres could be someone with whom I can talk freely and share my thoughts and everything without being judged, humiliated or left on spot. I just wanted to be understood, appreciated and loved. Ya I know people would say go find a good friend circle, but I know I have a really amazing friend circle and that they would arrive even at midnight to help me. But they too have their own personal life, and I don't want to disturb them. Yes, I know this too that mostly people will say that get a purpose in life because aimless life leads to having romantic obsession. But I have goals to achieve in my life and I am pretty much determined towards it. And no, I don't watch too much movies or something to have an unrealistic idea of love in my mind. I understand most of these philosophies. And yes, I'm not jealous of others who are in a happy relationship, I'm happy for them. I just want to understand why I'm always not worthy to have it. Whenever I see a tall, handsome looking guy or those fictional dark romance heroes, I feel some itch within me because nowadays I have seen women really fall for these men, and I know I can never be like them. Does that really mean I am not man enough? I don't know. Yes I know people will say that I'm too young and that much of life is ahead and that currently I must focus on my career. Yes, I do know these and I'm already working for my career. But my past experiences have hurt me a lot. I don't blame anyone for anything, but I do blame myself for being like this. And it also hurts watching good people being played on and get heartbroken whilst the ones who commit adultery get to be appreciated and desired. I know I spoke a lot, and all of it might look like rubbish to you, stranger friend, if anyone is reading this. I'm sorry if you, stranger friend, got bored or annoyed by reading this. I'm sorry to waste your time if it felt like I am a miserable man who can't handle a rejection, but thag wasn't my intent. I just wanted to share what I feel without being judged. But if anyone can understand this, you may share your thoughts on it. I will be very happy to read it. To anyone reading this, thank you very much if you have read this far, and feel completely free to scroll past it if you don't want to say something or don't relate to it. Lastly, thank you very much, stranger friend, if you have read this far.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
hello stranger frd,hope you are doingg well.i read each and every line and i know how it feels because my male frds say the same most of the time,u are really good guy i can see through the way you expressed .i cant advice because im too young for u ,veryyy young actually.i barely knew that ppl suffer like this even when they become a adult.i didnt feel misarable nor burdan ..im used to like these texts from myy frds ..i hope you do get a wife who adores ur soul...im glad that u arent like other men ...i dont know much abt dating or anything related to love because im 17(in two months ,im actually 16) i am barely seen the real world ...im the spoiled brat of my faamily,u dont have to feel ashamed that a kid read this ..i have read awful texts from other ppl ..be thankful for u arent like other men..when i say other men not the heros or the men you think women want ..i meant the bad men who ends a womens life after they have been rejected..love yourself more dad says that's when the universe changes for u ,dont assume i am very beautiful girl..im just okay most of the days i feel very pretty and some days just ehh ..ugly..i wont say ugly i would say less confident ...im struggling with what career i need to choose..if u think my life is perfect it is only 70 percent and other remaining percent is filled with lonliness ..im good with ppl...my frds have bf and exes and backup bf i just dont believe in love ..i loveeee love stories ,i read bl and dark romance but i dont think love exists its a fictional concept...im reallly sorry if i wasnt any help...i dont really think u need a advice ..why dont you enjoy other ascepts of life ..travelling?? trying a hobby ??i advice u do 10-10-10 worksheet it is damn helpful search abt it ..i do suggest you do journaling ..change the way you dress ..find ur style ,dress well that makes u look confident ..i lack alot when it comes to personality ..u seem to be having a good personality..i have tons of frds ..like tons but not one frd who will save me if i was in trouble or any frd who will pick up my calls when i really need somebody..at some point i lost the hope of looking upto ppl or anybody ..i kinda keep suffs to myself ...i am my own cheerleader ...i have the best life so far ..im content with my life but i do wish when i turn 18 i leave everything n everybody and live alone ..i lovee solitude ..i just need food and internet ...my family and frds worry that i wouldnt survive in the real world..im too kind they say ..but i believe that theere is a cruel side that i havent found yet..i dont wanna bore you with my dull life..just be glad u are alive and take care brother ..in tamil anna ...dont search for two things ..love and death ..that will automatically come in your life..if u can reply back and wanna advice me on anything related to the real world or career..have a worderful life dear stranger frd..dont think too much what i will think abt ur text ...i assure you that i am not judging you ..byee ...see youuu ..be kind to the world and sometimes saying the right stuffs would make u seen ...ig women like honest wise men and well settled that what mum says ...if u are asking what kinda men i like no comments i like to be single ...i dont like guys never been attracted to one because i know that ppl change and ppl are cruel ...be frdly with everyone but dont be too close that they use the weak points to target you...i dont believe in humanity exists ..i just try not to be like others as much as possible ..but most days i do think im like them ..the disgusting thing i hate is being like my grandma...i hope i never be cruel like her or treat others inferior or make them hate themselves...