Someone once asked...
Someone answered with kindness...
It’s easy to overthink something when we don’t have the answer right away. We tend to fill in the gaps of information with a negative lens as a way of self-protection. My top advice would be that if you’re an anxious person and get stressed when people don’t reply right away, you should avoid texting and instead call or ask people questions in person. For example, the nature of the medium of texting may cause continued stress for you. If you determine you are not typically anxious, or are ok with the occasional no reply, here are some important things to consider when texting someone: - what do I want this person to do? Is there a specific action I need them to take? If logistical or urgent in nature, follow up with another text in a few days. If not important enough to press on, let it go. If they miss out on responding, even after a follow up, that’s the way the chips fall. - am I texting this person because I want to, or for another reason? Do I feel obligated to text? Am I texting to get a response to affirm their care for me, but it’s unrelated to my question? In which case, you need to do some soul searching to feel more confident in your relationship enough to not need reassurance over text. If you still feel this way, see the next insight: - is this text a “deep thoughts” conversation, that would determine true feelings or express thoughts that could impact how you both show up for each other? In this case, phone or in person is always better. Some people enjoy texting, some people don’t. Some people are “good” at texting back, some read texts and forget to (or don’t feel like) responding. If the message is important, time sensitive, has to do with your feelings or something you must express, there are other methods of communication that are built for this. Believe in yourself and your abilities to communicate in the best way for you :)
Another soul answered...
A young woman once showed me her phone — three hours since she'd sent a message, and she'd already written four different theories about what it meant. I asked her how many of those theories had anything to do with the actual person, and how many were about her own fear of being unwanted. Silence usually isn't a message. It's silence — filled by a phone, a bus ride, a nap, a hundred boring reasons that have nothing to do with you. The anxiety isn't reading their silence. It's reading your own fear into it, and mistaking the reflection for the truth.
Another soul answered...
millions of permutation and combinations the one you're waiting the text might be taking a huge dump while leaving the phone for a charge
Another soul answered...
text other people. you're in control of your own actions.
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i am fine thank you and you?
Another soul answered...
不在意一切，把重心放在自身，取悦自己好过取悦他人
Another soul answered...
double text
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Sound like you are a sensitive person just like me. Its a process and a "skill" you have to practice and learn
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Listen to music
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Just remember that they have a life, outside of your screen. They have stuff to do. They probably just haven't checked their phone. But if you're left on read then that's personal bro.
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Calm
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Idk bru
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Do not fill the silence with stories. A message unanswered is only a message unanswered. Breathe, return to the present, and let the other person’s response—or silence—be theirs to carry. What is meant for you will not require you to destroy your peace while waiting.
Another soul answered...
Text them first and tell them they need to start actually texting u back
Another soul answered...
you dont need someone text you back. you need fr??? Nope.
Another soul answered...
procure hobbies que lhe ocupem a mente e relaxem a alma.
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maybe they are busy
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fais une activiter que tu aime
Another soul answered...
fais une activiter qui te plais
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Think they're probably doing something that they need
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Block them
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when they reply you don't text back so they second guess themselves and you have the power
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I don't text back anyone because I'm lazy so just assume that the other person is sitting on their couch eating ice cream and is so lazy they can't pick up their phone
Another soul answered...
you completely ignore it and try to think about something else and get your mind off of it. most of the time it’s something completely unrelated, like wifi, their busy, or just don’t want to talk! (not specifically to you, just in general!) luv ya stranger!
Another soul answered...
Stop texting.
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Money
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HEY IF SOME ONE DOSENT TEXT YOU BACK ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO AMAZING FOR THEM AND THEY CANT EVER BE AT YOUR LEVEL OK. I care about you tho.Mmmk? Good. Love ya. ♥
Another soul answered...
Depends what you said
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Take a breath, they're bound to text you back eventually.
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I personally am in this situation aswell, i just go watch a serie/study/ scroll on tiktok.
Another soul answered...
just think about what they might be doing - grabbing a snack, a quick chat with someone else. just think about a situation you are comfortable with
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There's bigger fish to fry, my friend.
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pretend you didnt even text them tbh. i just distract myself with hyperfixations lowkey
Another soul answered...
99% of the time if someone doesn't text back it's because they're busy, maybe something came up maybe someone called them maybe they're helping a family member etc etc. Take a deep breath, it's okay.
Another soul answered...
find something to do. dont force it.
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if they dont answer it probably means that they are busy or didnot have time to answer. were u overthinking until i answered
Another soul answered...
Find some way to distract yourself. Instead of waiting for someone to text back, go find some reason that you don't feel like you're waiting. Before you know what will truly excite you, it is really just a matter of exploring. However, once you have explored for a while, you may find a particular passion of yours that will be far more enthralling than waiting for a text back. For me, that is writing. Telling stories is about as close to a purpose to life that I have ever felt. It is my absolute passion, and I think about it all the time. I hope you find something that you feel as deeply about.
Another soul answered...
U can put ur phone down and go for a walk or movie or any other else
Another soul answered...
Do something else
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do something else keep your mind off
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Overthinking in all forms comes from the same roots: anxiety and paranoia. This isn't something to be embarassed about, as the vast majority of people deal with some sort of overthinking in their lives. The key is to understand your limits and how much can you do. "Did I do my part in sending the text?" Yes. "Was I genuine in how I wrote?" Yes. You don't need to worry if the message was too "lame" or if it looks like you're trying too hard, all you need to worry about are your limits. If you were nice, genuine to yourself, then you did your part. That's what you control. You don't control how people respond or how they act. Focus on being a good person, not solely for others, but for yourself first.
Another soul answered...
i dont know
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Do what you love. Never feel left out, and always know that eventually, someone will reply. Have a great day!
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Honestly, for me, I just scream really loudly into my pillow.
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don't text in the first place. duh
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"If you can't find a date... you can always master-" -Sensei Wu
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A piece of advice: live in the present, you’ll be 100x happier.
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Put your phone down, blast some music and take a nap, that's what I do. I also really like blasting music and singing in the shower. Upbeat music is a good option, also get ready for the day, put on some makup, do your hair pretty, make yourself feel good. After a few hours of good distractions think about how long you were ab;e to go without the response, and how your life doesnt revolve around them or the text,
Another soul answered...
Dont know vrojust dont
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I struggle with this too, but remember: life is hectic and busy. What is a slow day for you might be the busiest day in the world for someone else. Wait to see what the response is, when it comes. They might explain their absence, apologize even...or not. But waiting does not require thinking.
Another soul answered...
You could try brainstorming all the reasons they might not text back even if they care about you and like you a lot. There are so many possible reasons. If that doesn’t help, find something engrossing to distract yourself with.
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You have to know, in your heart, that whether they write you back or not ultimately does not really matter. Once you accept that you will have inner peace
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Find something exciting to do. Then you won't think about it
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Text someone else
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Focus on something else. You have said your piece; it needs to stand on its own. Remember to be confident, and that part of life is having your heart broken. Once you know this deeply, you can relax. You think by overthinking you can control the outcome. You cannot.
Another soul answered...
Get your mind occupied with something else. Imagine scenarios where they legitimately unable to.
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Cultivate more important past-times. Idleness more than anything else fuels this kind of anxiety.
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Would you want someone overthinking if you don't text them back?
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Lose yourself in something for a few hours, like building a cabinet from IKEA.
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Sometimes I block notifications or put my phone away where I can't reach it and force myself to do other stuff. Checking if they replied is like the watched pot never boiling thing, and it'll drive you nuts. If you are still struggling to not dwell, then try to focus the dwelling on curiosity about the person who hasn't texted, instead of anxiety and frustration about yourself not getting a reply. If you dwell on anxiety/frustration then it's hard to engage positively when they do eventually text back, but if you dwell on curiosity then it can alleviate some of the negative feels and also make connecting positively easier when they text eventually. If you overthink from a place of curiosity, it is much less likely to cause you and/or the other person harm, imo If it's important logistically or for safety then obviously things are different, but I'm assuming since you are avoiding overthinking that it's texts seeking to connect. What is important to remember is what your goal is overall - if the goal is a fun conversation well their lack of reply is really soiling that, and you should remind yourself that you can have those fun conversations with more engaged people who participate :) But if the goal is connecting with them as a person, then being curious about why instead of dwelling on anxious frustration could lead to the hoped for connection when dwelling certainly would not. Ending the overthinking without any of that requires distraction and no checking the phone while being distracted!!! Distractions can be hard when your brain is focusing on one situation, but the more senses involved in the distraction, the more effective it should be :)
Another soul answered...
get busy with other things
Another soul answered...
Texting might not be the best medium. Writing, whether a letter or an email, has a contextual placement that can be forgotten in this mostly-digital age -- the fact that it's a physical object. Physicality also constrains speech -- you're right there next to your conversational partner, or you can at least hear their breath and the rhythm of their prosody through the phone, and you benefit from this additional context in their communication. Texting, though, isn't quite speech and isn't quite writing. You've surely had text convos where electronic communications' speed of dispatch was everything: "here"; "running late, 15m"; "kk". You've probably also had weighty, consequential text convos that in retrospect surely couldn't have been typed out with *thumbs*, right? Which were more effective? "Effective" might sound like a strange word, but communication is about *communicating*. Turning white as a sheet and pointing over your friend's shoulder means you don't have to *say* "it's right behind you!". When communication is simple, like where you are or when someone else will get there or whether the monster has snuck up on you, you don't really need any other factors to make the communication "effective". More complicated situations, though, usually benefit from more context -- the sort pure-text doesn't really provide. Even telegraph operators benefitted from this context, emerging in this case through the human factor of operating the telegraph switch with their hands. They could recognize one another by "fist", a term for the personal rhythm that emerged from the repetitive input of dit-and-dah. Some even fell in love! My thesis, therefore, is that text-*only* communications drops important side-channels that humans expect to benefit from when they communicate with others, and become concerned at their lack. I put it to you that you feel anxious about people texting you back because of the medium itself. You can't read half the context in the sterile missives you get from your friend, because the medium lacks the facility for that type of communication but also because you're used to the medium being used for the sort of messages that don't really benefit from context. I might suggest changing the context yourself! I've texted people as if I'm writing a postcard, in the past. Structuring a text in this way can help communicate that you don't expect nor offer the pressure of a real-time conversation. More generally, overthinking can often be vanquished through more overthinking, though obviously this has limits and risks.
Another soul answered...
Picture tv static and push thoughts of the person into the static
Another soul answered...
if they don't text back, either they're busy or they're not interested. either way, just don't double and triple text out of embarassment it makes it worse. just move on.
Another soul answered...
Why should you? There's a reason your brain is prone to doing that. It could be legitimately preparing you for different scenarios. That tends to be very useful. But maybe you're referring to some anxiety that comes with "overthinking". In that case what could be the cause of those feelings? Instead of directing the thinking outwards ("why are they not responding!") maybe a good strategy would be to turn the thinking inwards ("why exactly do I feel like this?") Anxiety often goes away with more understanding and acceptance. And sometimes thinking quite a lot about something ain't that bad anyway :)
Another soul answered...
You gotta live in the now. Take a breath. Focus on what’s in front of you.
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Life is short. Waiting on others is killing you one second at a time. Value each second of your precious life more than you value the response of the person you texted. Then you will naturally gravitate towards doing something else instead of waiting on them.
Another soul answered...
Put it down and walk away
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Some people, like this monk, sometimes just can’t take the expectations of being responsive to so many people’s messages, even from people they deeply care about. Only you know your situation of course, and it’s okay to care about being acknowledged.
Another soul answered...
This is entirely situational. For what reason, don't they text you back? Is it 3:00 in the morning and they are asleep? Are they behind the wheel and being safe, not texting and driving? The circumstances can determine if overthinking is merited or not.
Another soul answered...
Use the void to realize what you really miss in life and be wholesome without an external entity
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You need to realize an unbalanced relationship wouldn't make you happy in the long run.
Another soul answered...
Learn to detach from your thoughts and emotions thru meditation
Another soul answered...
go for a run!
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you don't need to stop "overthinking", you can just acknowledge that you are overthinking. building the awareness can help you reframe the overthinking thoughts from reality to just thoughts. also being curious about what self criticisms you may be subconsciously thinking can help break the pattern of pain from overthinking
Another soul answered...
Go hiking.
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It's about self-respect. You need to figure out how to be on your team enough to not _need_ someone to text you back. With CBT, the suggestion is to actually argue with teh compulsion: "If I really thought I was awesome, if I was really on the team with myself, would I still be thinking about this person". There is sometimes some information value in the exchange, but its usuallly small. Write down the learning ("e.g. dont be a weenie") practice the behavior chagne 3 times, and then be on team you and move on.
Another soul answered...
Mindfulness. Don't stress on the thought itself, only observe it. Like you are observing cars passing by on a highway instead of focusing on one and running with it. That being said, distract yourself with long form content, or a movie or a tv show
Another soul answered...
Humans crave immediate feedback of in person social interactions so have a blank wall of silence can feel extremely oppressive. You could try something zany like getting this person to send you a video of them looking pensive and considering the question. Play that on loop and you imagine them thinking it over to give you a thoughtful answer If that's not an option the next best thing is to do something else to pass the time. Its going to pass anyway you may as well get something else done.
Another soul answered...
Texting is a less-than-ideal way to communicate. Your time and attention are valuable: reserve them for people who are willing to talk to you on the phone, or meet you in person.
Another soul answered...
Remember that 30 years ago nobody had a phone, and nobody sent text messages, thus you should slow down to the point the necessity of compulsively watch the phone disappears. That is caused by the lack of self awareness of how other people may be doing something differeent and more important when you overthink about their thoughts. Enjoy the peace given by rejecting what’s fast, and take the slow paced behaviours of humans.
Another soul answered...
By reminding yourself how completely unimportant it is. The deeper blossoming of your life is happening quietly, becoming aware of that is the path to profound joy.
Another soul answered...
If something is not in your hands, you can't hold it, right? In the same way, responding to your text is not in your hands, so let it go. If the person you sent text to isn't actively engaging or thinking about it, why should you? Always value your time more than the other, and stop overthinking.
Another soul answered...
Assume simple and goodwill.
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Many try to build their lives around a loved one. When you don't have a deep enough purpose or work of your own. You will start to look for flaws and insecurity in your relationship that does not exist their but because you spend so much time waiting for the other person's text you will start to make them up in your mind. So my suggestion/ advice is find a hobby, something you are passionate about.
Another soul answered...
text someone else
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Do you always text back first thing or do you sometimes get caught in things save take some time to answer? Answering immediately is not how humans have done things for most of their existence, and patience is a virtue. And if they do not come back to you, why should you think about it, since they seem not to think about you? Overall there is no point in worrying because ultimately it does not matter, just find something to occupy you and check the answer after a while.
Another soul answered...
distract
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Have you ever not texted back? How often was it for deep psychological reasons vs just having other stuff going on? No point sweating it - if it's really bogging you down, find something chill but engaging to occupy your mind, like a dramatic show or something.
Another soul answered...
It's not easy, but realize it's probably not about you. it's about their life. We don't notice when we don't text back right away because we're distracted. It's the same for other people. If it's someone you're close to and trust and you still feel really anxious about it, consider talking to them about it. Not as if they're doing something wrong, but to check your internal read against theirs. You'll probably find out you have nothing to worry about.
Another soul answered...
Go sleep
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You shouldn’t. In fact, you need to think more about it, actually. Clear the schedule for the next few weeks at least! You have to break down every possibility. It may be useful to create an entire history of your relationship with this person, remembering every interaction and word between the two of you. You definitely need to re read the entire text history, bare minimum. Consider taking up a habit in various uppers in order to stay awake long durations thinking about it. Well, what are you waiting for? Get started!
Another soul answered...
Explore why you are overthinking. What is it you worry about? Is it based in insecurity, a concern or anxiety for the other person? Where do those feelings come from, where did you learn they were the right things to feel?
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Go to the gym and exercise. Really anything intense that gets you focused on the external world and bodily sensation instead of on internal thinking states.
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Think of instances where you didn’t text back due to external circumstances unrelated to the text sent to you, and think about how them overthought when you did answer
Another soul answered...
I don't have the perfect solution but I would say that you should 1) understand at a logical/intellectual level why overthinking does not help and is even counterproductive 2) Speak to the part of you that is worried, ask it what it truly wants (about the other person) and why it makes you feel that way 3) When you know the motivation behind that part of you then you should discuss with it to try to redirect its energy toward better ends. For instance if you are overthinking because you really like that person then you can redirect that energy toward bettering yourself such that you can impress that person or go to the gym or improve yourself in other areas idk (seems a bit toxic said that way lol) 4) Give yourself strict rules about checking your phone for this and in general
Another soul answered...
Time will heal. You'll need let go of this thought. "This too shall pass" If you're unable to let go, try distracting yourself with movies, music, exercise, family time
Another soul answered...
Practice. You have noticed what you are doing and have been able to name it now. That is a skill to build on. You can recognise yourself doing it, the next step is to name it when it happens. You are engaging in an entirely human act of imagination, it is normal to overthink. Start there Remind yourself with a little self compassion. Notice yourself doing it. Name it, then put it down. You might figure out *why* you want the answer so much specifically, but likely it's a normal need to be recognised and responded to. That's ok. Name it, and let it pass. Do it again when you find yourself over thinking it the next time. The trick is not to surpress it from happening at all, it is to limit how much you need to suffer when you notice it happening:)
Another soul answered...
When you are anxiously waiting for a text, notice that you are entirely consumed with your own thoughts; you can safely assume the other person is doing the exact same thing with their own immediate tasks, errands, and distractions
Another soul answered...
Do something else. You have a life to live.
Another soul answered...
Think about the times when you could not text back? Did you do it out of malice or maybe it was just forgotten or you did not have the time to think of a proper answer. Most of the time its just life that gets in the way. Mostly its not malice
Another soul answered...
Here you go, I replied. You can now take it easy.
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Text messages are an asyncronous way to communicate: you write and wait for the answer. There could be millions of reasons why someone can't answare. Try to phone him/her to have a syncronous conversation.
Another soul answered...
Think back on the times when you picked up your phone and saw that you had not replied to a message sent some time ago. And you did not do that because you were ignoring that person. You just had a lot of stuff to do.
Another soul answered...
tell them how you feel, call them, listen to what they were doing the last hour, but give them grace. the earth is spinning at 1k miles/hr and we dont even know where its going.
Another soul answered...
think about your inevitable death, until it becomes clear that overthinking is unnecessary suffering.
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Try to be not to serious about possible reasons or outcomes. Be nice to yourself. Things are like they are. It is how we deal with what occurs which lies in our power.
Another soul answered...
text someone else
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Consider your discomfort. To feel longing for another is natural. The anxiety you attach to it is the discomfort you feel within yourself. Focus on the winner of the present moment, on your sensations, on your safety. Let the anxiety wash away.
Another soul answered...
Find people whose life is focused around things other than their phones. And watch them. Notice the difference between them and you.
Another soul answered...
when you hold someone or something so close to you and chase behind it, the chances of it going away are much higher than it actually staying back. the moment you do your part and sit back with a certain peace of mind, things come to you automatically. I do not know the exact mechanics behind it but it works. send the text and just forget about it and go live your life, you will get a response. if you don’t, it was not meant for you.
Another soul answered...
Find some way to help or serve them in person. If that's not practically possible, find someone who also embodies their qualities and is local to you, and do the same for them.