“hi stranger! im 21 year old studying for Chartered accountant have gone through 4-5 attempts and failure.mentally impacted alot in every attempt got a job last year nearby my home in CA firm beacuse of attempts it was affecting my mental health badly.last 2 attempts didnt make it closely as i get 1 month study leave.i couldnt leave this job as it pays me a very little and take me whole day still i get to manage my expenses bt my own.i couldnt stayy at home my mental health will be worst due to my mom and family.i have joint family.i’ve decided to give one last attempt in may for which i’ll leave my job from march for studying.now idk what i feel im not happy im normal from outside but there is this sadness from inside ki what im doing idk what im feeling.things are happening back to back diwali now im gonna go goa for my childhood’s frnd bachelor as she is getting married in jan.all these things are emotionally overwhelming.im too sensitive person and too giver.i have great friendss my work bestie who is not even my office my emotional regulator she used to make me feel loved by hugging me kissing me on cheeks been there for me listens to me.im speaking highly of her bcoz my other frnds lives far and not like that and i dont get any affection at my home from anyone at all.
She is also study leave im deeply emptied from inside and my childhood bestfreind who is getting married as she is busy i’ve been distant and dont share my things at all from starting and now not at all as i’ve realized her priorities are changed now no matter how much she says bond will be same it will not i can see that from so many months.she was the only most comfort oerson in my life so it is emotionally overwhelmimg to manage all this.not even excited for goa trip in few days.and my mom scolds me daily on little things so cruelly.i’ve suffererd so much from her since childhood.beating and all now it was cool then started again thats why i go office.my dad is daily drinker and distant one.im not expecting any reply on my all venting.even someone reads it thankyou so much for listening.”