Hi so now that im finally daying it suddenly i cant even find the right words and throat feels so tight but the thing is i cant do this anymore im severely depressed my life is miserable i dont even have a moment of peace my mind is a hell im deep down in depression i dont wanna live a single minute im heavily dependent on peopl i live on maladaptive daydreaming i cant even tolerate a single negative comment from anyone all my mind thinks about is how i can kill myself i have deliberating anxiety which leaves me breathless with my hands nd feet going numb i have severe ocd i pull my hair to the point im frustrated enough to kill myself and all of this is not new my life is stuck in a miserable loop i do nothing productive my grades have fallen i cant concentrate on anything any hobby any target nothing just mindlessly scrolling on my phone takes alot to get up from my bed my physical health has gone bad too i keep myself bald by pulling my hair i have gained weight and my skin is alot more worse , i have severe social anxiety too i cant put a step outside without feeling my heart trying to get out of my body but my home is a living hell too all my relationships are fucked up , i have ptsd as well and the visionary flashbacks have gotten alot worse to the point that i scratch myself badly all the time also , there is a entity that appears now usually at the time im alot more anxious , like its a old very very very very angry man always apperaing with some weapons in his hand he is somewhat always in my room , i cant get professional help and there is sm pressure from my family nd friends for me to be okay im fcked up as hell all i have left are those daydreams fucking insane imaginary things due to which i survive all i find myself doing is that i feel like if i live w my true feelings i wont be able to survive

Question

Hi so now that im finally daying it suddenly i cant even find the right words and throat feels so tight but the thing is i cant do this anymore im severely depressed my life is miserable i dont even have a moment of peace my mind is a hell im deep down in depression i dont wanna live a single minute im heavily dependent on peopl i live on maladaptive daydreaming i cant even tolerate a single negative comment from anyone  all my mind thinks about is how i can kill myself i have deliberating anxiety which leaves me breathless with my hands nd feet going numb i have severe ocd i pull my hair to the point im frustrated enough to kill myself and all of this is not new my life is stuck in a miserable loop i do nothing productive my grades have fallen i cant concentrate on anything any hobby any target nothing just mindlessly scrolling on my phone takes alot to get up from my bed my physical health has gone bad too i keep myself bald by pulling my hair i have gained weight and my skin is alot more worse , i have severe social anxiety too i cant put a step outside without feeling my heart trying to get out of my body but my home is a living hell too all my relationships are fucked up , i have ptsd as well and the visionary flashbacks have gotten alot worse to the point that i scratch myself badly all the time also , there is a entity that appears now usually at the time im alot more anxious , like its a old very very very very angry man always apperaing with some weapons in his hand he is somewhat always in my room , i cant get professional help and there is sm pressure from my family nd friends for me to be okay im fcked up as hell all i have left are those daydreams fucking insane imaginary things due to which i survive all i find myself doing is that i feel like if i live w my true feelings i wont be able to survive

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

try to do breathing exercises
dont neglect your physical health plz 
try writing down your emotions /feelings
try having a pet /spend time with animals
spend time in nature /with plants/have some trees /small plants where you sit/in your room
listen to relaxing music /calm songs
drink more water..really!
seek professional help if possible
and dont you dare to do anything harm to yourself ,come on man you are stronger than that..