Hi, i was once a no relationship girl, single for the first 18 years of my life then i met a boy and i was head over heels. i confessed my feelings to him and turned out we both have feelings for each other and he said ily on the v first day. i felt weird but i let it slide in and said ily2 bcs i was blind in love and that blind honeymoon phase went over for like 6-7 months and i did all my firsts w him not sex but yeah make out, kiss, hands holding etc etc and i was always happy doing so and anything that he did i was so happy. i was so happy to be loved by him. i was blindly in love.
but this wasnt perfect he was not nice to me so many times he used to watch vulgar reels on insta and followed random woman and would reply to revealing girls reels on his boys group which annoyed me and i kept getting angry at him and i kept questioning him and eventually he stopped the boy group thing. then he also changed himself for good bcs i had so many expectations and i asked him to fulfill them not bcs they r hifi i just feel like this is bare minimum its fine if u dont know ill teach but u cant jsut ignore me and my feelings so he started to change and he became really important person in my life slowly. though after few months of relation i realised this guy is not right for me but he started to love me like crazy he would bring me gifts huge handmade gifts and he would walk 2-3 kms daily just to meet me for tea and he would daily find a way to meet me and he would do things gestures that made me love him even more and forgive him for all the bad that he does to my heart i started to heal but deep down i always thought he doesnt love me he loves only his ex girlfriend bcs of whom he is unable to stay in love w me and i guess i was right for some time but no not anymore he changed himself so much that i actually started to like him and suddenly it was 2 years and as i always had the habit of checking his phone i opened it one day in his absence and watched the reels he saved in his chat all of women vulagar and revealing bodies. and i froze. i didnt say anything to him until later when he came to meet me that evening bcs it was some important day for him so i didnt want to ruin it for him. so yea in evening i told him and started to cry and he accepted that he made mistake and he shouldnt have and he regrets and he'll do anything to bring my trust back and i shouldnt leave him but i was adamant on leaving him so i kept resisting and crying and he kneeled down in front of me and i was still not ready to accept him and it kept going the night was long i had to go hsotel he had to go hostel we both left and yea.

now i still really care about this guy so i told him we'll talk this is not the last time. so we met again 2 days later and i tried to tease him a lot and he didnt react. then again by evening i again couldnt stop crying he cried too and bcs i was too attached i said ok we'll be in relationship but youve to promise me somethings and i gave him a list of things he should do from now on and i feel he followef them for few days and even today we are continuing to be in the relationship and im having self doubts. i really really like him and its really hard to leave now that hes trying evrything to get me back so i feel suffocated yet happy and idk what to do, i cant ever fall in love if i leave him thats how i feel i know im doomed but thats how it is idk what to do!!!!!!!

Question

Hi, i was once a no relationship girl, single for the first 18 years of my life then i met a boy and i was head over heels. i confessed my feelings to him and turned out we both have feelings for each other and he said ily on the v first day. i felt weird but i let it slide in and said ily2 bcs i was blind in love and that blind honeymoon phase went over for like 6-7 months and i did all my firsts w him not sex but yeah make out, kiss, hands holding etc etc and i was always happy doing so and anything that he did i was so happy. i was so happy to be loved by him. i was blindly in love. 
but this wasnt perfect he was not nice to me so many times he used to watch vulgar reels on insta and followed random woman and would reply to revealing girls reels on his boys group which annoyed me and i kept getting angry at him and i kept questioning him and eventually he stopped the boy group thing.  then he also changed himself for good bcs i had so many expectations and i asked him to fulfill them not bcs they r hifi i just feel like this is bare minimum its fine if u dont know ill teach but u cant jsut ignore me and my feelings so he started to change and he became really important person in my life slowly. though after few months of relation i realised this guy is not right for me but he started to love me like crazy he would bring me gifts huge handmade gifts and he would walk 2-3 kms daily just to meet me for tea and he would daily find a way to meet me and he would do things gestures that made me love him even more and forgive him for all the bad that he does to my heart i started to heal but deep down i always thought he doesnt love me he loves only his ex girlfriend bcs of whom he is unable to stay in love w me and i guess i was right for some time but no not anymore he changed himself so much that i actually started to like him and suddenly it was 2 years and as i always had the habit of checking his phone i opened it one day in his absence and watched the reels he saved in his chat all of women vulagar and revealing bodies. and i froze. i didnt say anything to him until later when he came to meet me that evening bcs it was some important day for him so i didnt want to ruin it for him. so yea in evening i told him and started to cry and he accepted that he made mistake and he shouldnt have and he regrets and he'll do anything to bring my trust back and i shouldnt leave him but i was adamant on leaving him so i kept resisting and crying and he kneeled down in front of me and i was still not ready to accept him and it kept going the night was long i had to go hsotel he had to go hostel we both left and yea.

now i still really care  about this guy so i told him we'll talk this is not the  last time. so we met again 2 days later and i tried to tease him a lot and he didnt react. then again by evening i again couldnt stop crying he cried too and bcs i was too attached i said ok we'll be in relationship but youve to promise me somethings and i gave him a list of things he should do from now on and i feel he followef them for few days and even today we are continuing to be in the relationship and im having self doubts. i really really like him and its really hard to leave now that hes trying evrything to get me back so i feel suffocated yet happy and idk what to do, i cant ever fall in love if i leave him thats how i feel i know im doomed but thats how it is idk what to do!!!!!!!

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Sooo ummh he kinda did badd watching those reels the first time but then he told u he stopped and u found out he lied to u...but now he's trying to change AGAIN????I meaann that's susyy but maybe this he truly wants to change..... I'm in confusion too after hearing ur story....Sooo if u decide to stay in this relationship just be careful and yeaa it's okee to NOT trust sometimes cuzz of the things he did.... All I have to say is....Take ur decision wisely.....
GOOD LUCK AND HOPE U FEEL BETTER AND TAKES THE RIGHT DECISION bbg❤️