Hi

I just feel nothing. I knew my ex for 8 years, we studied college together and I just miss him. I miss him when I do small things, at least once daily.

We broke up because he saw me as a best friend more than a lover. I gave my everything, my love, my support, my care because I wanted to. I thought he was the one for me. Though he mostly was inexpressive and at that point, he had goals and ambitions to achieve. I loved him for that quality too, he had ambitions which were obviously bigger for him than the silly me. But obviously as a human, as much as I understood his dreams, his passion and his helplessness, I feel he was unfair to me at times because he knew that my love was unconditional, that he could fall back on me whenever he wants.

Anyway, after 3 yrs of being in love with him, in a "relationship ", if I could call it that..because we were in a kinda agreement relationship, maybe a situation ship, I finally broke up when I faced the consequences and pain of my own decisions and choices that I took. The painful realisation that came upon me when he said that he would neither introduce me to his parents nor fight for me led me to finally break up. It's been 4 yrs since and every year we reconnect at some point.

I repeatedly went back to him because I'm clingy that way( I'm not proud of it), and he repeatedly never gave me any love( I don't want to blame him, but it's the truth, it's his choice). But nowadays after every year of reconnecting, letting go, a ying - yang situation, he seems to be trying to get my attention. He has a flourishing life now at least on the outside, im really proud of him for that(because he was quite insecure about his financial situations back then and desperately wanted to get out of it and he successfully did it)

But I dont know why, he is trying to reconnect with me yet he still does not know how to talk, he talks only about his situations or my love for him.

Just 5 days ago, he messaged me asking if there is anyone in my life after him.

I do get an ego boost sometimes when he tries he approach me but I know its not good. I cry bcoz of the nostalgia, the shared growing up we had, that phase of life where we were together.

I miss losing out on my best friend but I would not change a thing even if I had a chance. I prefer to fall for him again but just wished he could love him too.

He is a good guy who does not how to express and definitely is a dude who just needs to chill out sometimes.

Even after the emotional turmoil, I have been through, my heart still longs for him. My friends have been supportive, my therapist has been supportive but how many times should I fall back on them for the same reason.

It is odd but my heart still wants a future with him, bcoz I know that he is a good guy even if he was toxic towards me.

I miss him so so much, I wish I could talk to him but I cannot, I love myself too and I wish to protect myself too from the hurt but I just hope we are together in some universe.

Question

Hi

I just feel nothing. I knew my ex for 8 years, we studied college together and I just miss him. I miss him when I do small things, at least once daily.

We broke up because he saw me as a best friend more than a lover. I gave my everything, my love, my support, my care because I wanted to. I thought he was the one for me. Though he mostly was inexpressive and at that point, he had goals and ambitions to achieve. I loved him for that quality too, he had ambitions which were obviously bigger for him than the silly me. But obviously as a human, as much as I understood his dreams, his passion and his helplessness, I feel he was unfair to me at times because he knew that my love was unconditional, that he could fall back on me whenever he wants.

Anyway, after 3 yrs of being in love with him, in a "relationship ", if I could call it that..because we were in a kinda agreement relationship, maybe a situation ship, I finally broke up when I faced the consequences and pain of my own decisions and choices that I took. The painful realisation that came upon me when he said that he would neither introduce me to his parents nor fight for me led me to finally break up. It's been 4 yrs since and every year we reconnect at some point.

I repeatedly went back to him because I'm clingy that way( I'm not proud of it), and he repeatedly never gave me any love( I don't want to blame him, but it's the truth, it's his choice). But nowadays after every year of reconnecting, letting go, a ying - yang situation, he seems to be trying to get my attention. He has a flourishing life now at least on the outside, im really proud of him for that(because he was quite insecure about his financial situations back then and desperately wanted to get out of it and he successfully did it)

But I dont know why, he is trying to reconnect with me yet he still does not know how to talk, he talks only about his situations or my love for him.

Just 5 days ago, he messaged me asking if there is anyone in my life after him.

I do get an ego boost sometimes when he tries he approach me but I know its not good. I cry bcoz of the nostalgia, the shared growing up we had, that phase of life where we were together.

I miss losing out on my best friend but I would not change a thing even if I had a chance. I prefer to fall for him again but just wished he could love him too.

He is a good guy who does not how to express and definitely is a dude who just needs to chill out sometimes.

Even after the emotional turmoil, I have been through, my heart still longs for him. My friends have been supportive, my therapist has been supportive but how many times should I fall back on them for the same reason.

It is odd but my heart still wants a future with him, bcoz I know that he is a good guy even if he was toxic towards me.

I miss him so so much, I wish I could talk to him but I cannot, I love myself too and I wish to protect myself too from the hurt but I just hope we are together in some universe.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

Girll u should learn something from him that he was very focused in overcoming from his insecurities and u what are u doing , see u might love , u gave all u could give , u did your part but he never responded to u that means if he was clear from starting that he doesn't see u romantically then it not his fault u are the one running after him , and trust me focus on yourself once u achieve everything u want and become the women who is out of his league he will come back himself , even if he does dont let him , yes u loved someone , yes u did everything , yes u invested alot of energy in universe so trust me whatever u gave will come back to u in any other form , or from any other person , whatever u gives comes back, but even if in future he does come back to u please do not give him a chance , have self respect,  because men dont change when u love them but men change when they love u , and u said u loved him unconditionally , if u did unconditionally then why are u expecting the same in return , loving someone unconditionally means not expecting anything in return , u r obsessed with him,and this obsession will fade once u start focusing on yourself , and if u really loved him unconditionally then let him go , let him live the best life , pray for his happiness and leave him on his own do not expect anything from him, because loving someone unconditionally means wanting to see them happy with or without u , so I hope u understand , just let him go , let him do his best , hope for his wellbeing, and move one , and keep ur standards high because the love and energy u put out in universe it will come back to u , u will find someone who will love u like u loved someone else and I hope u treat this person better and move on 
I hope u find the best person in the world who will never make u question about ur love 
God bless u