“Hi, I feel very lonely at times. I have a couple of close friends but feels vry insecure tell my personal things cause they can't keep secrets. The thing is that most of the things I say are not suppose to be secrets but as I have traumatised by the childhood bullying experiences I don't feel safe telling my private things to anyone including my parents. Whenever I tell something to my mom or someone close to me they often misunderstand and find a way to make me guilt for that, or just I feel like that. I don't know man I'm just confused and stuck. Being a 25 year old boy living abroad this feels very bad at times. I don't feel the experiences, food or anything as happy as in my childhood. Do you have any experience to share or any advice?”
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Someone answered with kindness...
my close friends for a few years turned on me. every insecurity they would mention when they walked up to me, every behavior someone did that i vented upset me they did to me, every trigger they would find a way to talk about, every mutual person we hated they would say i was a worse person but not explain how. my childhood bff would say privite things in public because "no one is listening" but like it would be at school and people would get upset at me in front of them and they didnt notice. i dont know if i can just confide my emotional weak points to my friends unless it's necessary. i dont know if itll get better; i have a lot of new rules for friends so maybe i wont have those problems again.