heyyy, i genuinely need some advice because i've been feeling really sad about something and idk how to process it 😭

so i'm 21 and i met this guy who's 25 online a few weeks ago. we started talking every day and he was genuinely so sweet and affectionate, always texting, calling and saying cute things. i started liking him a lot and we eventually went on a date, which honestly went really well.

but after meeting, i noticed his energy changed. he wasn't as affectionate or expressive anymore, and even though he said he was busy with work and moving, i started feeling like he'd lost interest in me. instead of communicating that properly, i got hurt and started pulling away.

we had planned a second date, but the day before i told him i wasn't feeling like meeting, although i said i'd confirm in the morning. i did text him the next morning, but he didn't reply until after noon because he'd gotten really drunk the previous night and couldn't ride his bike. he still wanted to meet, but by then my brother had made other plans with me.

after that, things became awkward. when i told him i missed talking to him, he said he'd really wanted to meet and that i was the one who said i didn't want to. he also said he couldn't build a relationship through texting alone, which i actually agree with. but he didn't really acknowledge that his drinking had disrupted our original date either.

he eventually said he didn't feel like talking. i explained that i never meant to reject him and that i'd respect his space. later i tried reaching out again, but we never properly resolved things. now he's blocked me on instagram.

and idkk, i genuinely miss him. i know i could've communicated better instead of pulling away, and i regret that. but i also feel like things weren't entirely my fault.

what hurts the most is that i actually liked him and wanted to get to know him better. i never expected things to end so abruptly, and now i keep wondering whether i ruined something that could've worked.

i don't wanna force someone to like me or disrespect his decision to stop talking, but i'm struggling to accept how everything ended.

from an outside perspective, what do you think happened? was there something i could've handled differently, and how do i move on without constantly blaming myself?

Question

heyyy, i genuinely need some advice because i've been feeling really sad about something and idk how to process it 😭

so i'm 21 and i met this guy who's 25 online a few weeks ago. we started talking every day and he was genuinely so sweet and affectionate, always texting, calling and saying cute things. i started liking him a lot and we eventually went on a date, which honestly went really well.

but after meeting, i noticed his energy changed. he wasn't as affectionate or expressive anymore, and even though he said he was busy with work and moving, i started feeling like he'd lost interest in me. instead of communicating that properly, i got hurt and started pulling away.

we had planned a second date, but the day before i told him i wasn't feeling like meeting, although i said i'd confirm in the morning. i did text him the next morning, but he didn't reply until after noon because he'd gotten really drunk the previous night and couldn't ride his bike. he still wanted to meet, but by then my brother had made other plans with me.

after that, things became awkward. when i told him i missed talking to him, he said he'd really wanted to meet and that i was the one who said i didn't want to. he also said he couldn't build a relationship through texting alone, which i actually agree with. but he didn't really acknowledge that his drinking had disrupted our original date either.

he eventually said he didn't feel like talking. i explained that i never meant to reject him and that i'd respect his space. later i tried reaching out again, but we never properly resolved things. now he's blocked me on instagram.

and idkk, i genuinely miss him. i know i could've communicated better instead of pulling away, and i regret that. but i also feel like things weren't entirely my fault.

what hurts the most is that i actually liked him and wanted to get to know him better. i never expected things to end so abruptly, and now i keep wondering whether i ruined something that could've worked.

i don't wanna force someone to like me or disrespect his decision to stop talking, but i'm struggling to accept how everything ended.

from an outside perspective, what do you think happened? was there something i could've handled differently, and how do i move on without constantly blaming myself?

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

First of all you should not blame yourself. If he left that easily then that means he was not the one for you. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s okay to have your own boundaries sometimes and there’s nothing wrong with it. Let him go. You gonna find better one sis:)