“hey, to whoever reading this. im 21 years old and i would like to keep my name anonymous.
2 years ago i joined this college, i was a introverted kind of person and i was okay until i joined this college. the first some months were very okay going and i was enjoying and after that i met this girl who studied in the same class. we both became friends because of a project and started talking everyday since then. but as time passed we bacame very much close and started sharing everything. but in that porcess i started to develop feelings for her and i started to look her differently. one night while talking to her i confessed to her that i liked her and she politely rejected me saying that she just saw me as a friend and said that she was not ready for a relationship. i continued being her friend since then, but some part of me always hoped that she would see me diierently one day. so i started putting more effort. and like 8 months passed. and sfter that there were several times where i confessed to her, i confessed 4 total times to her but the reply was still the same.
but the 2026 was very different, the starting few months went fine but since march we started having fights. the thing was she started to talking to my friends and was becoming close to them so everytime i felt jealous and because of that i used to ghost her for few days and came back like nothing happened, i used to not communicate and go slient and give her silent treatment and so the fight use to continue to these reasons. but now since mid of october we are back again, we talk normally now. but the thing is i still feel jealous whenever she becomes close to any of my friends. over time i understood that people can have close friends and i dont have to feel threatned because of that but somewhere i am like she has to be more close to me and not them.
because of this i am unable to focus on my day to day activities, my studies are getting affected because of this and i am having anxiety issues, my chest feels heavy when i see her becoming close to someone else. but i am not ready to not let go the friendship with her.
i want to be emotionally detached to her and continue to live my own life without becoming anxious”
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Someone answered with kindness...
Hello, I think you are brave for telling her how you feel and since you guys still remained friends tells me that it’s a healthy friendship. And I know that it can be very difficult seeing the person we really like, with someone else but if she already rejected you multiple times, I think you should respect that. And I know it’s difficult to let go and we still always hope, but maybe right now you feel that she is all you have but I think if you would let go, you would see that there is more to life, so much more. Think about why you came to college, that this is your life and I am sure you will find someone and fall in love again if you allow yourself to do that.
I think you should tell her that if you keep talking to her, it will get difficult for you and you wouldn’t be able to move on, I think you should end things on a good note and not be in contact with her. It will be difficult but time heals everything, and hats meant to be will be, if she was the one for you, she will find her way back to you, and if not, something better will 😊. so don’t close yourself off from the world, be yourself and live.
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Another soul answered...
leave the attachment soon or life will force you to do this in its own rough way. bless you :)
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Wandering voices — answers no one has read yet
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Another soul answered...
The person who just gave you the advise to distance is absolutely right.
I was my female best friends friend even after I had confessed to her in the 2nd year itself.
She grew dependent on me and I was like her problem solver.
She thought I was a friend and as I had been rejected I tried to not have feelings at all.
That's not how it worked I just emotionally got extremely attached to her. At that point I confronted her. Not asking if she had feelings for me, she anyways answered she didn't have any. But to tell her I am being affected. Emotionally craving her presence.
Everything of her would have an impact.
Trust me detach early and move on else you will regret it a lot.
Ps : My question to all the girl's, how do yall use your friend's very well knowing they have feelings for you. Eventually drain them off (mentally) & marry someone else.
I don't get it. If someone puts out an inch of effort for me. I instantly realise it.
God Knows what girl's look for. 🙃