Hey, I'm 21 this year and have never dated. To all those who actually waited till marriage to get romantically invested, married the first person you dated in you mid 20s. How was it. And when I eventually do, should I expect the same from my partner, bcz it feels kind of unfair that I am the only one who waited or is it just me being selfish for wanting to experiencing everything from a romantic simple date to a warm cuddle being the first experience for the both of us?

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Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

As someone who married their first girlfriend, don't do that. To be clear, we are very very happy together still, but that was a risky move that goes wrong more often then it goes right. We had the right circumstances beforehand to realize that was good for us, but on average I would not recommend it. You need to learn who you are in romantic contexts and outside of romantic contexts, and you haven't had the chance to do that right. Especially if you are already insecure about a hypothetical partner having had more experience than you. And all of this is okay, a lack of life experience does not mean you are lacking as a person. It comes with time. I am not sure, but it seems like you may be lacking in self confidence, and again that is okay. But you gotta grow to love and understand yourself before you can try to love someone else, and ask them to love you. Otherwise you'd be setting both you and them up for failure. You have what you need to be confident, you just have to learn that. But you will, I believe in you, just know you have plenty of time. My mom was 32 when she had me, and I was her oldest child, and she had me right after getting married. My dad is only barely younger than her. They had to wait for a while, but it worked out. They are very happy together, and they wouldn't have been if they had rushed into a different relationship they weren't ready for.