““hello Stranger sorry to bother you but I just want a little help
recently i had my first breakup from a girl who I really loved but she kept crossing my boundaries like disrespecting me , doubting me just because someone said something about me and after every fight putting all the blame on me and in last fight she said "you are the worst thing happen to me and my ex was far better then you even he treated me better" the same ex who she used to say he mistreated her badly which leave a trauma inside her and after 8 years of relation cheated on her .
and as we are in same colleage and same hostel campus i kept seeing her
and only in few weeks of break I see her hanging out with a male senior and getting close with him like sitting too closely in cafe and holding hand and walking in night out in campus on weekend
I just cant understand how can she replace me with him this easily and quickly
i just want to move on and focus on myself alone”
the thing is she was my first love and when I see moving on soo quickly and the thing which is not that she moved on but that i loved the wrong person who just used me for 2 years and replaced me when i was of no use and the fact i had her 2-3 time in past when she betrayed me
and her guts to spread bad about me when I never even said or even listen a bad word against her in any situation
I dont understand why girl need so much external validation and that too from people they barely know and then question the people they know for long and why is when a girl sat biside me due to space constraint in class is wrong and she can justify holding other males hand during walking in nightout is ok and talking about our relationship matter with stranger and asking their opinion is ok and then questioning me is ok
I just wanna move on from her so can someone please tell how to handle myself when i see her hold hands of someone who already had gf and she is friend of hers . even if its for showing me or making me jealous but whenever i see her with someone else
it broke me in ways i never imagined and it take long of energy to stop my tears and avoids my voice from trembling so that no one notice the pain , the image of her hold his hand pop in my mind althe time and my skips a beats
please help me I dont have any friend to talk to about this
or any cousin
i cant take it any longer i dont know what to do
this place is my last hope”
✦
Someone answered with kindness...
Hey, she is just trying to fill the void that was created. You were a really important part of her life and you mattered a lot. The moment u left, there is a big void in her heart and she is desperate to fill it, that is why she is trying to be close to others.
Similarly, you have a void in your heart that you want to fill but filling it with other person is not going to help at all. There will be just constant comparisons and expectations that the new person will never be able to fill.
Fill the void by urself, be there for urself, cry if u want to. Talk to ur friends and family, make new friends, work on yourself. That void will slowly fill and u will soon realize u have actually moved on from her