Has anyone ever been in a situation where they know they weren’t treated the way they deserved, but still can’t bring themselves to let go?

I got out of a three-year relationship almost a week ago, and I feel like I’m falling apart whenever I’m alone with my thoughts. I spent so much time trying to make things work, constantly being the one to reach out, initiate conversations, plan meetups, and ask for the smallest amounts of affection and attention.

I guess what hurts is that I kept choosing someone who rarely made me feel chosen. And now that it’s over, I find myself missing her more than ever. During the day, I somehow manage, but when night comes, I just lie awake thinking about everything.

I know I should move forward, but how do you actually do that when you still love someone so much? How do you stop missing someone you spent three years building your life around? I genuinely feel lost.

Question

Has anyone ever been in a situation where they know they weren’t treated the way they deserved, but still can’t bring themselves to let go?

I got out of a three-year relationship almost a week ago, and I feel like I’m falling apart whenever I’m alone with my thoughts. I spent so much time trying to make things work, constantly being the one to reach out, initiate conversations, plan meetups, and ask for the smallest amounts of affection and attention.

I guess what hurts is that I kept choosing someone who rarely made me feel chosen. And now that it’s over, I find myself missing her more than ever. During the day, I somehow manage, but when night comes, I just lie awake thinking about everything.

I know I should move forward, but how do you actually do that when you still love someone so much? How do you stop missing someone you spent three years building your life around? I genuinely feel lost.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

I understand your pain and first of all, I want you to know that you are not alone. You are incredibly strong for holding yourself together during the daytime and doing what's required to get by the day. Most people might slip into crippling depression and that your situation sounds more like you are falling apart but still moving forward. You will grieve this loss like any other loss, but that just means making room for something better. You mentioned not feeling chosen and that's exactly what you will be getting away from when relationships like these don't work out. There will be a version of you in the future that would look back on this and be like, "Damn. That's why this happened in my life and they left. I actually found people who are better for my mental health and also make me feel chosen." But that might take a while. You need to heal first and once you can sleep better, you should inculcate the habit of talking to yourself positively. Since that's the frequency you will give out in the universe and those are the kind of people you will end up attracting. I'm speaking purely from personal experience. I just want you to know that you will be okay and that this hopeless feelings won't last forever.