Catholic 16 year old girl over here,
As a kid I've always been close with Jesus, as in not just prayers but actually talking with him, gradually that faded and when Covid came around it's like I didn't know him in the way I used to, here and there id do the normal prayers, rosaries and everything but I didn't really have conversations as I used to before,
Started reading the Bible in 8th but i fear i was just brainwashed by the "end times" fake news spreading,
But since then I tried being a good catholic, not cussing, being kinder, no teasing and all of that but it wasn't till 10th grade that i actually got extremely close to God in the way I did before and I read the Bible daily, but now it's been many months since I've read the Bible and I've genuinely fallen out and now there's times where I do not want to go to God at all, i do not know want to do, i feel my sparks gone, i can't focus, i don't want to hang out with friends all i do is rot and scroll and I know Jesus is my help but i just don't want to go to him, I dunno.

Question

Catholic 16 year old girl over here, 
As a kid I've always been close with Jesus, as in not just prayers but actually talking with him, gradually that faded and when Covid came around it's like I didn't know him in the way I used to, here and there id do the normal prayers, rosaries and everything but I didn't really have conversations as I used to before, 
Started reading the Bible in 8th but i fear i was just brainwashed by the "end times" fake news spreading, 
But since then I tried being a good catholic, not cussing, being kinder, no teasing and all of that but it wasn't till 10th grade that i actually got extremely close to God in the way I did before and I read the Bible daily, but now it's been many months since I've read the Bible and I've genuinely fallen out and now there's times where I do not want to go to God at all, i do not know want to do, i feel my sparks gone, i can't focus, i don't want to hang out with friends all i do is rot and scroll and I know Jesus is my help but i just don't want to go to him, I dunno.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

I don't have a lot of words, but I have a recommendation. I have struggled with many of the same things you are, and firstly its okay to struggle. I am not Catholic, but I am a Christian and I am currently reading a book (by a lifelong Catholic) over these exact struggles. It is called The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning. It is very kind and loving and immensely relatable, and focused on the exact struggles you have. And how it is okay, and how you are not any less loved despite those struggles. I recommend it, I hope it can help you. Beyond that, I am gonna pray for you. I believe in you and you can do this!