“can I be gay and not at the same time?”

Another soul answered...

you can be homoromantic and asexual or aromantic and homosexual. you could also be aroase and have little attraction and have a second label for that attraction. you can also be bi/pan and lean much more towards one gender over another.

Another soul answered...

(firstly sorry english is not my main language so i'll probably make some mistakes) So, as I see it, I don't think that you can be gay and not at the same time, but I can see how someone could believe that in 2 different escenarios. First of all, you are actually gay but you don't WANNA be, so you try to mask it as not being gay and being fully straight or thinking that whatever you are feeling/thinking doesn't mean that you are gay, and therefore that you can be gay and not at the same time. On second place, I believe that a lot of people think being gay is soo deep, when actually it's not, it's just what you like. And I think people confuse being able to tell another person of your same gender as attractive or cute or pretty or whatever, with actually liking them in a sexual or romantic way. Just to clarify this last part, on my experience, i'm a cis heterosexual woman, but I'm able to tell that a woman is pretty or attractive, even though I don't like them like that. I also think that it's easier for women to see or admit this than it is with man, because if a woman says a compliment to another nobody it's gonna think that she is gay, but if a man does it, there's a chance that he is gonna get gay allegations; which can lead to men not saying any compliments to other men and therefore thinking that if they do it's because they are gay. I know that whoever asked this question didn't specify gay man but as a young woman I see what I just explained with my guy friends and not my girl friends. Actually, if a woman never compliments another woman maybe they can get lesbian allegations because it's not the usual. To sum up, I think that if you are confused about you sexual orientation, you should not think that it's that deep, and just like whoever you want without really thinking about their gender; in my case, as I just said im an heterosexual woman, but if in a future I meet a woman in particular that I like and I am attracted to, we are in 2026, I'm gonna be with her because it's really not that deep, I'm not not gonna date her just because she's a woman and it shouldn't like her because I've always been heterosexual. Hope that these answer has helped you somehow. Have a really nice day stranger!