“Approximately 10 years ago, when I was 12, I sexually assaulted my sister, who was 14 at the time. It happened multiple times and involved sexual contact without her consent.
She knows what happened, but we've never properly discussed it. We currently have a normal, close relationship.
I recognise that I violated her boundaries and bodily autonomy and that my actions have caused her significant psychological and emotional harm. I don't know the full extent of the impact on her, but I take the seriousness of that harm seriously.
I experience persistent guilt because I know I hurt her. I also struggle with feeling like I don't deserve the closeness we share. When I'm around her, I behave normally, but privately, the memories and guilt continue to affect me.
I haven't sexually assaulted anyone else since then, and I don't have urges or thoughts about doing anything similar again.
I do want to acknowledge what I did, but I also don't want to approach her just to relieve my own guilt or put her in a position where she has to comfort me. I genuinely feel like I don't deserve the closeness we share.
I'm scared that bringing it up after all these years might bring back painful memories or reopen wounds she's never wanted to discuss. I honestly don't know whether talking to her would help or hurt her.
I don't know what the right thing to do is. But I feel terrible for her. I feel deeply sorry for what I put her through, and I don't want my attempt to take responsibility to cause her any more harm.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
Personally, I think talking out is the best option and say how much sorry you feel for her, I know she'd not probably forgive you ever but it's unavoidable... Hope she understands you...