“Approximately 10 years ago, when I was 12, I sexually assaulted my sister, who was 14 at the time. It happened multiple times and involved sexual contact without her consent.
She knows what happened, but we've never properly discussed it. We currently have a normal, close relationship.
I recognise that I violated her boundaries and bodily autonomy and that my actions have caused her significant psychological and emotional harm. I don't know the full extent of the impact on her, but I take the seriousness of that harm seriously.
I experience persistent guilt because I know I hurt her. I also struggle with feeling like I don't deserve the closeness we share. When I'm around her, I behave normally, but privately, the memories and guilt continue to affect me.
I haven't sexually assaulted anyone else since then, and I don't have urges or thoughts about doing anything similar again.”
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Someone answered with kindness...Thanked by the asker
Yaa you actually don't deserve a closeness with her and if you are really guilty about it go to her and talk about it and let her know what you feel and what you think then vs now as i am pretty sure if she had this trauma because of you she may be just wanted to keep the brother sister bond and deep down she is not feeling safe.