A few years ago, I came across this girl on Instagram through one of her friend's reels. I didn't think much of it at first, but somehow, as time passed, she kept crossing my mind. Eventually, I found her Instagram profile, which was private, and later came across some of her other social media accounts too.

Somewhere along the way, I developed an attachment to her that I honestly can't explain. I know how unusual this might sound, especially considering we've never spoken and she probably doesn't even know I exist. I also understand that social media doesn't necessarily show you who someone really is. I'm not claiming that I know her personally or that I understand everything about her. But whatever I've seen over these past few years has made me genuinely curious about her, and I'd really like to get to know her.

The difficult part is that we have absolutely no mutual friends, live in different cities, and have no existing connection whatsoever.

I've thought about sending her a follow request several times, but I keep holding myself back. I don't want to be just another random stranger trying to get her attention. I'd much rather have an opportunity to introduce myself properly and let her know who I actually am. At the same time, I completely understand that from her perspective, I'm just someone she doesn't know, and she has every reason to be cautious.

I've even thought about approaching one of her friends since they have a public account, but I'm not sure whether that would be appropriate. The thought of meeting her in person has crossed my mind too, but I honestly don't know how that could happen naturally.

It's been almost 2.5 years now, and I think the hardest part is not knowing what to do with all of this. I'm not expecting anything from her or assuming that she'd feel the same way. I just genuinely wish I could get an opportunity to introduce myself, if she's comfortable with that.

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's experienced something similar. How would you approach a situation like this? I'm genuinely looking for some perspective because I've been trying to figure it out on my own for quite a long time.

Question

A few years ago, I came across this girl on Instagram through one of her friend's reels. I didn't think much of it at first, but somehow, as time passed, she kept crossing my mind. Eventually, I found her Instagram profile, which was private, and later came across some of her other social media accounts too.

Somewhere along the way, I developed an attachment to her that I honestly can't explain. I know how unusual this might sound, especially considering we've never spoken and she probably doesn't even know I exist. I also understand that social media doesn't necessarily show you who someone really is. I'm not claiming that I know her personally or that I understand everything about her. But whatever I've seen over these past few years has made me genuinely curious about her, and I'd really like to get to know her.

The difficult part is that we have absolutely no mutual friends, live in different cities, and have no existing connection whatsoever.

I've thought about sending her a follow request several times, but I keep holding myself back. I don't want to be just another random stranger trying to get her attention. I'd much rather have an opportunity to introduce myself properly and let her know who I actually am. At the same time, I completely understand that from her perspective, I'm just someone she doesn't know, and she has every reason to be cautious.

I've even thought about approaching one of her friends since they have a public account, but I'm not sure whether that would be appropriate. The thought of meeting her in person has crossed my mind too, but I honestly don't know how that could happen naturally.

It's been almost 2.5 years now, and I think the hardest part is not knowing what to do with all of this. I'm not expecting anything from her or assuming that she'd feel the same way. I just genuinely wish I could get an opportunity to introduce myself, if she's comfortable with that.

I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who's experienced something similar. How would you approach a situation like this? I'm genuinely looking for some perspective because I've been trying to figure it out on my own for quite a long time.

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

it sounds like a crush, though not a sexual or romantic one. it might be niche queer vocab to use the word crush with other emotions idk. i think trying to arrange bumping into her in person or trying to get close to her friends is going to come off worse than just trying to introduce yourself online. i think it would be best to send a message to two or more of their friends explaining the situation. i dont think youre stalking or doing anything wrong for just looking at posts and thinking about them a lot. but, since they do have privite insta she's probably the type of person who would be freaked out at this. 
i can remember two instances of similar things happening to me, though they were both in person. one is a guy a hung out with at a party for a friend of the family and we instantly got along but i didn't know how they were related to people i knew so i didnt see them again. i probably thought about them for a year or two even though my social life was fine. there was this girl in one of my classes who was a grade above me and sat near me and it's embarrassing but when i wasnt working i'd just stare at them. they seemed cool and like we would be good friends but i literally didnt interact with them even once.
it probably wont work out giving the circumstances. if youre okay with the how it is right now i would just keep watching from a distance. if you really want to know them you should try. you seem very aware and logical and if anyone can work out this problem it'll be someone like you.