A few weeks ago, there was a fight between me, one of my friends and two other people. It all started because of a birthday invitation. The person having the birthday wasn't really inviting us directly but was communicating it through a third person. So, naturally, my friend and I pointed that out because we didn't think that was an appropriate way to invite someone.

The person acting as the middleman then started questioning us about what had happened and insisted that we discuss everything right there while we were walking back from college. I suggested that we talk about it later, when we got back, because I didn't think that was the right time or place for such a conversation. But she kept insisting, and eventually things escalated into an argument.

After that, some pretty hurtful things were said to me, including that I was overreacting. We stopped talking for about two to three weeks. Eventually, the other three reconciled with each other, but nobody really bothered to approach me or even ask how I felt about everything.

It was almost as if their reconciliation meant that everything was supposed to go back to normal, and I was expected to be perfectly fine with it too.

And then yesterday, I saw all three of them hanging out together without me. I was literally walking right in front of them, on my way to my room with food, and it just hit me.

What makes it even more disappointing is that one of the people involved, who used to be a close friend of mine, constantly talks about how important it is to include everyone and how nobody should be left out. But yesterday, I experienced exactly that from them.

I'm not upset that they reconciled or that they chose to spend time together. They're entitled to their friendships. What hurts is that nobody thought about reaching out to me, checking on me or even making an effort to resolve things with me.

I don't expect everyone to take my side, but I did expect the same consideration and inclusivity that they so often talk about. And honestly, I don't think I can call that person a close friend anymore because their actions have made me question where I actually stand in that friendship.

What do you think I really need somebody's opinion on this?

Question

A few weeks ago, there was a fight between me, one of my friends and two other people. It all started because of a birthday invitation. The person having the birthday wasn't really inviting us directly but was communicating it through a third person. So, naturally, my friend and I pointed that out because we didn't think that was an appropriate way to invite someone.

The person acting as the middleman then started questioning us about what had happened and insisted that we discuss everything right there while we were walking back from college. I suggested that we talk about it later, when we got back, because I didn't think that was the right time or place for such a conversation. But she kept insisting, and eventually things escalated into an argument.

After that, some pretty hurtful things were said to me, including that I was overreacting. We stopped talking for about two to three weeks. Eventually, the other three reconciled with each other, but nobody really bothered to approach me or even ask how I felt about everything.

It was almost as if their reconciliation meant that everything was supposed to go back to normal, and I was expected to be perfectly fine with it too.

And then yesterday, I saw all three of them hanging out together without me. I was literally walking right in front of them, on my way to my room with food, and it just hit me.

What makes it even more disappointing is that one of the people involved, who used to be a close friend of mine, constantly talks about how important it is to include everyone and how nobody should be left out. But yesterday, I experienced exactly that from them.

I'm not upset that they reconciled or that they chose to spend time together. They're entitled to their friendships. What hurts is that nobody thought about reaching out to me, checking on me or even making an effort to resolve things with me.

I don't expect everyone to take my side, but I did expect the same consideration and inclusivity that they so often talk about. And honestly, I don't think I can call that person a close friend anymore because their actions have made me question where I actually stand in that friendship.

What do you think I really need somebody's opinion on this?

Anonymous Practitioner · Accepted Answer

I don't think they really value as a close friend . Don't be too close to them. Because their actions will hurt you. If they were your friends they would have reached out to you and talked about this or atleast told you that they are on speaking terms with the other friends and are you okay with that and also are you also thinking of compromising.

On important note , get new friends.