“A few days ago, my brother (17 or 18M) and I (16F) had a fight. The reason was that he constantly teases me. He might consider it harmless teasing, but it genuinely irritates me. We haven't really talked to each other for months because of a previous argument.
For some context, we both live in the city for our studies, and we currently have a one-month vacation because of the festivals. We came back to our village to celebrate Diwali and other festivals with our family.
Our recent fight was over something quite silly. We share a laptop, but he often acts as if everything belongs exclusively to him. I can't always be the one who compromises and gives in.
A few days ago, I took the laptop and was watching something. He wanted to take it away from me, but when he couldn't, he grabbed my phone instead. My mom was right there. He hit me first, so I hit him back. Then he hit me again on the back of my neck and grabbed my hair.
The next day, my parents behaved as if nothing had happened. They did scold my brother, but they did it privately, not in front of me. For some reason, I was still angry with them. I don't really understand why.
Yesterday, we had another argument about the laptop. I haven't been talking to my parents normally since the fight, and honestly, I'm furious with them. The confusing part is that I know they love me and care about me, but I still can't seem to get over my anger towards them.
Things got worse when I threatened my mom that I would cut my wrist. She started crying, and when my dad found out about it, he cried too.
I feel guilty about making them cry because I know how much they care about me. But at the same time, I can't seem to control my anger or understand why I'm behaving this way.
I don't know what I should do. I don't even know whether I'm overreacting or whether there's something deeper behind my feelings. I just feel angry, confused and guilty all at once.
I'd really appreciate some outside perspective on this.”
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Someone answered with kindness...
Hi. You're not overreacting. It's never gonna work if you blame yourself for feeling what you felt, gotta find why you feel the way you feel. In this situation you were feeling more angry than the situation demanded... That's not abnormal. If you've been irritated and hurt by your brother for a long time, these emotions can pile up and release at once like a volcano. What you should try doing is talking things out before they get out of hand, expressing yourself before it gets to extremes, setting clear boundaries with your sibling to have an easier time. It's better you have your mom/dad have a talk with you and your brother and understand your perspectives. Don't worry too much and never think about doing extreme things. Good luck.